From Doubtful to Decisive: How to Make Choices with Conviction, Not Fear

I have decided to take the path of faith; I have focused my eyes on Your regulations.

Psalm 119:30 Voice

One of the best decisions we have ever made was to build our family through adoption, but it almost didn’t happen. 

After years of infertility, we chose to become foster parents, but the road to adoption was difficult and filled with painful disappointments. We struggled with whether to keep trying, and we didn’t know what the “right” path was. We were torn between the fear of regret if we stopped the process and the potential heartbreak if we continued.

That’s when we decided to seek the advice of our friends and loved ones. They helped us understand what it meant to take the “path of faith” as Psalm 119:30 (above) describes. The path of faith meant believing that God was greater than any decision we made—so we didn’t need to worry about making the “wrong” one. It also meant believing that God was our most important choice; if we decided to be close to him every day, we would be content and satisfied whether we adopted children or not.

You, LORD, are all I want! You are my choice, and you keep me safe. [6] You make my life pleasant, and my future is bright.

Psalm 16:5-6 CEV

Secure in these two decisions, we decided we would keep trying to adopt. Eventually, we brought two wonderful children into our family, and we are so grateful that we learned to make decisions out of our convictions about God rather than our fear. 

From doubtful to decisive 

Every day, our lives are full of decisions—big and small. How will we spend our time? How will we spend our money? What plans will we make for our future? Where will we go to college? What will be the next step in our career?

We are constantly making decisions, and decision-making is stressful. Every decision comes with the risk of making the “wrong” choice and its potential consequences. 

That’s where God comes in. 

If you want to know what God wants you to do, ask him, and he will gladly tell you, for he is always ready to give a bountiful supply of wisdom to all who ask him; he will not resent it. [6] But when you ask him, be sure that you really expect him to tell you, for a doubtful mind will be as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind; [7-8] and every decision you then make will be uncertain, as you turn first this way and then that. If you don’t ask with faith, don’t expect the Lord to give you any solid answer.

James 1:5-8 TLB

Without faith, decision-making unsettles us, and we end up tossed back and forth by each possible outcome. 

In our experience, these are some symptoms of having an unsettled and doubtful mind: 

• Procrastination: We avoid making decisions, perpetually telling ourselves we will get to it later. 
• Taking control: We take matters into our own hands, making choices without considering the eventual consequences.
• Making emotional decisions: We make choices based on reducing our anxiety. This might include making decisions that we think will make other people happy. 
• Passing off the burden of decision-making to someone else. Overwhelmed by decisions, we let others choose for us—often our parents or our spouse. But this breeds bitterness and blame when things go wrong.

Thankfully, God is always ready to give us as much wisdom as we’re willing to ask him for. We just need to ask and trust he’ll answer.

Scriptures for reflection

1. Decide to have spiritual priorities. 

“So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ [32] These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. [33] Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. [34] “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.”

Matthew 6:31-34 NLT

It’s much easier to be decisive when we are clear on our priorities. If we’re not, we will be dominated by worry—what if we make the wrong choice? What if people are mad at us? What if we miss out on a great opportunity? 

If we first decide what matters most to us, the rest of our decisions will become much easier to make.

The Bible makes clear what should matter most to us: seeking God’s Kingdom and living righteously. God’s Kingdom is made up of his people — those who are walking with him and pursuing his purposes for their lives. “Righteousness” is having right relationships with God and people. So if we want to be spiritual in our decision-making, we should start by checking our priorities:

• What will bring me closer to God?
• What will bring me closer to spiritual relationships?
• What will help me love others and make a difference the way God wants me to?

These priorities helped us in our decision to adopt and in many other decisions over the years. Over and over again, we have seen that when we choose to prioritize God and his kingdom, he gives us everything we need and helps us move forward with faith and no regrets.

2. Decide to trust God.

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.

Romans 8:28 NLT

God makes everything work out for our good when we love him. So when we decide to put him first, we could make a “wrong” choice, and God could still work it out for the good. That doesn’t mean we should purposely decide to do something that hurts him or goes against his Word; it simply means we don’t have to fret about perfect decisions. 

That’s why when it comes to decision-making, clarity is overrated. What matters more is trust in God, as a famous quote from Mother Teresa explains:

“I will not pray clarity for you. Clarity is the crutch of the Christian. But I will pray trust for you, that your trust will increase.”

Mother Teresa

We can inadvertently become proud, thinking our human wisdom carries immense weight and that we will make the “right” choice if we just have enough clarity. This creates immense stress over choices that affect our future—like choosing a major or career. While these choices matter, we must remember we’re only human. We can’t see the future, but we can trust God (James 4:13-16).

God is bigger than anything we decide or any mistake we make. That’s why what matters is aligning ourselves with him and his path, and trusting him to guide us along the way. We can do this by spending daily time reading his Word, praying, and asking him for help on the decisions we need to make.

If trusting God is difficult for you, read these passages of the Bible:

• Psalm 37:4 — When we delight ourselves in God, he’ll give us what our hearts desire.
• John 15:1-5 — Apart from God, we can do nothing. That’s why we need to remain in him.
• Psalm 139:5 TPT — God’s our setup and cleanup crew. He goes before and behind us, so as long as we trust him we’ll be okay.

3. Decide to seek advice.

To learn, you must love discipline; it is stupid to hate correction. [15] Fools think their own way is right, but the wise listen to others.

Proverbs 12:1,15 NLT

It is wise to let others into our decision-making process. Many of our regrets come from pride. Whether it’s because we think we should have known better, we’re defensive about our choices, or we resist others’ influence, pride leads to our downfall more than any “bad decision” (Proverbs 16:18). 

Trusting God makes it easier to seek advice because we know he will guide us. Learning from others broadens our perspective, helps us slow down, and brings clarity. Conversations also ease anxiety as friends help us process our fears and motives.

If listening to advice is difficult for you, read these passages of the Bible:

• Proverbs 15:22 — Advice is what makes plans successful!
• James 4:6 — God opposes pride. So even the best decisions require us to be humble with him and others.
• Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 — We’re not meant to make decisions alone. God chose us to look out for each other.

4. Decide to love.

Love bears all things [regardless of what comes], believes all things [looking for the best in each one], hopes all things [remaining steadfast during difficult times], endures all things [without weakening]. [8] Love never fails [it never fades nor ends]. But as for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for the gift of special knowledge, it will pass away.

1 Corinthians 13:7-8 AMP

Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.

1 Peter 4:8 NLT

A decision made out of genuine, biblical love is never a bad decision. That’s why our motives matter! If our motive is to love, we won’t be afraid of making the “wrong” decision because we will feel confident that we are doing it for the right reasons. 

Inevitably, we will make mistakes, and we will sin toward the people in our lives because we are all human. But love gives us the confidence to bounce back from mistakes and learn from them rather than being defeated by them. 

As we are weighing a decision, we always need to ask ourselves whether we are motivated by love or by selfishness. Love helps us endure consequences, believe in the best outcomes, and hope for something greater. 

If being motivated by love is difficult for you, read these scriptures:

• Philippians 2:1-4 — Experiencing God’s love and encouragement changes the way we make decisions as we consider how we impact others.
• 2 Corinthians 5:14-15 — Christ’s love is a motivating force that compels us to not make decisions solely based on ourselves.
• Hebrews 10:24-25 — Relationships help us love even when we don’t want to. We need each other to be motivated to make loving decisions.

Next steps for decision-making

Check out this Ted-Ed video about making smart decisions:

How to make smart decisions more easily

We can apply spirituality to some of the tips in this video to make smart decisions more easily:

1. Make important decisions in the morning after spending quality time with God. When we have quiet times with God in the morning that set our priorities straight, we will be able to make decisions with faith rather than fear. Morning is also a good time to make important choices because we haven’t yet been fatigued by a day of little decisions built up.
2. Create spiritual routines to make fewer small decisions daily. Making decisions takes mental energy. Creating a healthy spiritual routine helps us save mental energy for the bigger decisions in life. For example, if you want to spend consistent time with a spiritual friend so that you can help each other grow, schedule it at the same time every week. You no longer have to stress about figuring out when to schedule it because you both know when it’s happening, and that’s one less decision you need to make. Another helpful spiritual life skills article to help with this is “From Busy to Balanced: The Spiritual Art of Time Management.”
3. Make a “to-do list” and a “vision list,” then tackle a few decisions daily. Having a to-do list for tasks helps us keep track of what we need to get done and what decisions we need to make to get there. A vision list helps us think about God’s bigger picture and purpose, and our decisions will be shaped around making that vision a reality. Prayer and conversations with spiritual friends can help us determine what goes on that vision list.
4. Practice prioritizing. If being indecisive about your time is a challenge, try using this tool called an “Eisenhower Matrix.” Give it a spiritual focus by letting the Bible tell you the level of urgency and importance God would give each task. For example, Jesus says that the most important commandment is to love God with all our heart, soul, and mind (Matthew 22:37-38), which means that our daily quiet time with God is both urgent and important. Many other passages of the Bible teach us how to prioritize serving God’s kingdom while loving our families, doing our jobs, and carrying out our other responsibilities. Another great way to practice prioritizing is to ask a trusted spiritual mentor to help you make daily decisions based on faith, love, and trust rather than fear or doubt.