While Jesus was walking, he saw a man who had been blind since the time he was born. [2] Jesus’ followers asked him, “Teacher, why was this man born blind? Whose sin made it happen? Was it his own sin or that of his parents?” [3] Jesus answered, “It was not any sin of this man or his parents that caused him to be blind. He was born blind so that he could be used to show what great things God can do.”

John 9:1-3 ERV

In this story, Jesus found himself in a situation every parent will relate to: he was going about his day when he was suddenly faced with some big questions.

His followers had seen someone with a disability, and they wanted to know why it had happened. What was God’s role in this suffering? Why was this man born blind while they could see? 

As parents, we will inevitably encounter these kinds of questions, too, if we haven’t already. Our kids will see disabilities in themselves and others, and they’ll start asking why. They may wonder what God’s role was in it, and why he allowed their suffering. 

These are hard questions, but luckily, Jesus has the answers. This man’s uniqueness was not a punishment. It was part of his destiny. God had a plan, and it was good. 

I’ve come to understand this about God through my journey of raising a neurodiverse family, though it took a while. I was in my early 30s when I gave birth to my daughter, Malia—an easy delivery and a happy, healthy baby. Three years later, things were very different when I gave birth to my son, Tommie. The pregnancy was challenging, the birth was difficult, and Tommie was born with a neurological condition called hydrocephalus (hi-dro-sef-a-lus). It took me quite a while to learn how to pronounce and spell it, let alone understand it!

I was not warned or prepared for what lay ahead. I felt afraid, uncertain, and confused, constantly wondering what help was available now and what support might exist in the future. Looking back, I truly believe that without a strong spiritual foundation and the support of friends, I could not have weathered this unexpected storm in my life, nor could I have taught my children how to navigate it. 

My faith taught me that God had a destiny for each of us, and Tommie’s hydrocephalus was part of that destiny. I love to pass on what we’ve learned; I’ve seen it change my family, my friends’ families, and even people we’ve never met.

In this devotional, I hope to inspire and equip you to give your kids a spiritual perspective about special needs and disabilities—in themselves or in others. Together, we can make an incredible difference in the world by raising kids who are inclusive, respectful, and kind to themselves and others because they understand that differences are part of their destiny.

Why do we need to educate our kids about disabilities?

As parents, it’s our responsibility to help children understand, from an early age, that people have differences. In fact, we do our kids a great disservice when we don’t teach them about different types of people in the world. 

Without our spiritual influence, kids will form their own assumptions about people—often based on their limited understanding and experience. This leads to uncomfortable situations (such as staring and pointing at people who don’t act the way they expect). It also robs them of the rich experience of going through life with friends whose perspectives are different from their own:

Live happily together in a spirit of harmony, and be as mindful of another’s worth as you are your own. 

Romans 12:16 TPT

How do we give our kids a spiritual perspective about disabilities?

Inspiring and educating our kids is like planting a garden. I will admit, gardening is not my strength. But when I see a thriving garden, I can tell it took time, patience, and care to cultivate. This is how God teaches us, and this is how we can teach our kids:

He also said, “This is what the kingdom of God is like. A man scatters seed on the ground. [27] Night and day, whether he sleeps or gets up, the seed sprouts and grows, though he does not know how. [28] All by itself the soil produces grain—first the stalk, then the head, then the full kernel in the head. [29] As soon as the grain is ripe, he puts the sickle to it, because the harvest has come.”

Mark 4:26-29 NIV

Seeds don’t grow overnight. But as we plant seeds of faith, inclusivity, and understanding in our children’s hearts, God will help them grow so that our children have a thriving vision for themselves and others.

Turning the soil: Our preparation work as parents  

I said, ‘Plant the good seeds of righteousness, and you will harvest a crop of love. Plow up the hard ground of your hearts, for now is the time to seek the LORD, that he may come and shower righteousness upon you.’

Hosea 10:12 NLT

The process of educating our children about special needs begins with digging into and “plowing up” our own hearts as parents. We need to turn the soil before we can plant anything, which means softening our hearts before we talk to our kids. What we say to them will flow over from what we have stored in our hearts (Luke 6:45).

Turning the soil of my life is an ongoing process. Much like a garden, there’s a mix of everything inside me: weeds of guilt, pebbles of unbelief, and even large boulders of fear. 

When I was a young mother, I remember feeling weighed down by guilt. I often found myself wondering if I had somehow caused my son’s disability. Did I do something during my pregnancy that led to this? Or could something have happened during his birth? 

Later in life, I found myself as a divorced single mother, and that’s when the pebbles of unbelief began to appear. How was I going to support my children on my own, give my son the special care and attention he needed, and maintain a career to financially provide for the three of us?

Then came the boulders of fear—the worries about our future. What would my son’s future look like? Will he be okay? 

The garden of my life at that time didn’t seem very promising. I wondered if anything good could ever grow from it. So many unknowns, so many questions.

Finding clear answers in the midst of my distress wasn’t easy. But that uncertainty set me on a quest that led me to a personal relationship with God, which has made all the difference for my family and me. He taught me through the Scriptures to be honest about my thoughts and feelings, which softened my heart so that I could believe his faithful promises more than my fears and doubts.

I am still learning to examine my heart and understand how it affects me. I must break up the hardness of my fears and unbelief daily. Then I can remove the weeds, pebbles, and boulders of doubt by pouring out my heart to God. These actions create a space where God’s dreams and visions for my family can take root and grow, protected and safe.

Whether we are educating our children about their own disabilities or about their siblings or friends, our own thoughts and attitudes matter. We have an inner intuition that alerts us when something in our lives needs to be reevaluated. We need the courage to honestly go through that reevaluation. This is what the Bible describes in Hosea 10:12—plowing up the hard ground of our hearts so that love can grow in them. 

Planting the seeds: How God prepares us for our destiny

For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.

Philippians 2:13 NLT

Educating our children about people’s differences is really educating them about the way God works in our lives. He works inside us, in ways we often can’t see, planting seeds in our hearts that eventually grow into a great purpose.

When I was growing up, I lived in neighborhoods filled with all kinds of families, each different from my own. Some had both parents, some only one. Some were raised by grandparents. Others blended multiple nationalities, possibly through adoption. Then there was our family: a dad, a mom, a grandfather, a grandmother, and five children all under one roof. It simply felt normal to see so much variety. It was just the way life was.

Left to myself, I might have overlooked the significance of this part of my life, dismissing it as random or coincidental. But God has taught me to change the way I think: 

Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

Romans 12:2 NLT

Now, as I look back on my life through the lens of the Bible, I see God quietly planting in me a readiness for what others may call unique, being part of a community with variety, including individuals with special needs. He was working inside of me, giving me the perspective and heart I needed to embrace my destiny.

God is at work in each of our lives and in the lives of our children as we speak. Our unique experiences are like seeds that can grow into a purpose beyond what we can imagine. Take some time to think about the experiences in your life that have prepared you to raise your kids and the experiences in their lives that are unique. What kind of purpose could come from these experiences? What could these experiences be preparing them for? We might not be able to see the answers to these questions today, but we can trust that God is at work in ways we can’t see.

Bearing the fruit: When our kids start to grasp God’s view of themselves

You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. [14] Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous-how well I know it. 

Psalm 139:13-15 NLT

When Tommie was entering kindergarten and first grade, it became clear that his behavior and way of processing information were very different from his peers. Special education was truly a lifesaver. Experienced teachers guided me on how to help him learn in the ways that worked best for him. Yet as a parent, I always wanted more for my child. 

I remember thinking about how to help Tommie understand who he was—not just what others saw, but who he was in the eyes of God, as Psalm 139 says. I decided to create a storybook-like pamphlet that explained how God made him and highlighted his strengths. I included family photos to show him that he is part of a big family that loves him exactly as he is. I also explained, in simple ways, what hydrocephalus is and how it affects the way his brain processes information. He learned that his way of thinking is different from his peers—but it is his way, uniquely designed for him.

I believe that teaching a child what makes them unique not only builds confidence but also empowers them to express themselves. For Tommie, this approach helped him put his differences into words using his unique way of processing information. It also gave him the tools to ask for help when situations were confusing. 

Over time, he learned to say, “I have hydrocephalus, so it may take me a little longer to answer.” That was the goal—he was able to self-advocate with confidence.

Self-advocacy is a skill every kid needs, whether they are neurotypical or neurodivergent. This comes from understanding how God made them. When they can understand and express their own unique needs, it’s much easier to understand that other people have unique needs too.

Teaching others to plant: God’s dreams are greater than our own

We are confident that God is able to orchestrate everything to work toward something good and beautiful when we love Him and accept His invitation to live according to His plan.

Romans 8:28 Voice

God orchestrates everything in our lives to work toward a good and beautiful plan. He has not only given my family a faith-filled understanding of our differences but also worked through us to help many other people change the way they see disabilities. 

As a parent of a child with special needs, I quickly learned that part of my role was helping others understand my child. Faith has played a crucial role in this by helping me believe that every interaction has a purpose, even if I can’t see it (Hebrews 11:1). Many times, whether in a library or grocery store, we had opportunities to teach others about special needs, sometimes simply through our presence, and other times by sharing verbally when given the chance. Over time, I have learned that these interactions had a purpose much greater than my family; God was working through each interaction to change the way people think about disabilities and inclusion. 

In the process of sharing my life, I have often met parents searching for hope, guidance, and support for the challenges in their kids’ lives. I’ve also received so much valuable knowledge and encouragement from other parents in this community as well.

I also have to give credit to Tommie’s older sister, Malia. She became her brother’s advocate at school and daycare. I believe that God gave her a calm heart for giving, and her presence influenced other kids. She helped other children learn patience and understanding while being around someone with special needs. She was able to do this because our family learned to navigate these situations together and because God planted seeds of love in her heart.

As I mentioned earlier, I created a storybook-like pamphlet for Tommie to help him understand himself and his strengths. Many years later, that pamphlet became a children’s book—a tool that now teaches and reaches far beyond our immediate circle. I pray it will impact communities in ways I cannot even imagine. But this is how God works: our dreams and visions are multiplied because his vision is infinitely larger than ours.

As parents, we can change the very fabric of society by turning the soil of our hearts and teaching our children about special needs inclusion. We can teach people around us to plant seeds too, creating a beautifully inclusive community where every child and adult thrives. 

Final thoughts

So how do we educate others about special needs? I believe it starts by simply living the life God designed for us and being all we can be. Everyone brings their own talents and gifts to the world. All of us are uniquely designed by God. He guides us and opens doors to share our experiences. These moments become opportunities to teach others about the differences and the strengths that make each of us unique. You’ll be amazed at how God can use these opportunities to open doors far beyond anything we can imagine.