From Attitude to Gratitude  

When I was a kid, my main chore was pulling up weeds in the backyard. It was hard work, so I found a solution that I thought was clever—chopping the weeds off at the surface rather than uprooting them. But no matter what, they always grew back, stronger and thicker. The problem wasn’t the appearance of the weeds; it was the roots.

Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many. 

Hebrews 12:15 NLT

Hebrews 12:15 warns us that the “root of bitterness” can grow deep within us, spreading and corrupting everything around it. If we don’t address it fully, it just keeps coming back.

Bitterness steals our joy. It troubles us. When we’re caught up in it, we can’t see the good in our lives and we miss the blessings God has given us. 

Here’s the good news: Focusing on God’s grace and all the good we have will uproot negativity and make space for joy. Gratitude is our defense against bitterness—by choosing gratitude and holding onto joy, we protect ourselves from falling into its poisonous trap.

In this study, we’ll learn three ways to turn an attitude of bitterness into joyful gratitude.

Ready to let go of bitterness and embrace joy? Let’s get started!

Gratitude helps us process pain. 

One time, after they had finished their meal in the house of the LORD at Shiloh, Hannah got up. She was deeply distressed, and she cried bitterly as she prayed to the LORD. Meanwhile, Eli the priest was sitting in his place by the door.

1 Samuel 1:9-10 GNT

Bitterness can happen when we feel we have been treated unfairly, and Hannah was in a very unfair situation. She couldn’t have children, which would have been painful enough. But then her husband married another woman (which was a common cultural practice at the time when one wife couldn’t bear children). This other woman not only had many children but also taunted Hannah year after year about it. 

When we feel bitter about painful experiences in our lives, we can find hope in Hannah’s story. She didn’t hold back with God—she wept, expressed her pain, and told God exactly what she wanted:

Hannah made a solemn promise: “LORD Almighty, look at me, your servant! See my trouble and remember me! Don’t forget me! If you give me a son, I promise that I will dedicate him to you for his whole life and that he will never have his hair cut. [17] “Go in peace,” Eli said, “and may the God of Israel give you what you have asked him for.” [18] “May you always think kindly of me,” she replied. Then she went away, ate some food, and was no longer sad.

1 Samuel 1:11, 17-18 GNT

Grateful for the promise that God would answer her prayer, Hannah walked away happy even before her circumstances changed. But even after Hannah did in fact give birth, she went back to God to express her gratitude in the midst of her pain.

Then Hannah prayed out of her deepest feelings. Hannah: My heart rejoices in the Eternal One; my strength grows strong in the Eternal. My mouth can mock my enemies because I celebrate how You have saved me! [2] No one is holy like the Eternal One- no, no one but You; and there is no rock as solid as our True God.

1 Samuel 2:1-2 Voice

Because she let her gratitude toward God guide her through her pain rather than suppressing or succumbing to it, Hannah was able to pray out of her deepest feelings of joy, even after experiencing deep feelings of pain and sadness.

When we’re suffering, it’s easy to feel forgotten by God. Hannah’s story reminds us that we are not. When we are deeply distressed, God can help us process our pain and find hope. Praying with gratitude, believing God will answer prayer, and trusting in the promises in the Bible can turn our attitude of bitterness into joyful gratitude. 

Gratitude leads to better friendships. 

Bitterness can come from many sources, including jealousy and discontentment. 

But if you are bitterly jealous and filled with self-centered ambition, don’t brag. Don’t say that you are wise when it isn’t true. [15] That kind of wisdom doesn’t come from above. It belongs to this world. It is self-centered and demonic. [16] Wherever there is jealousy and rivalry, there is disorder and every kind of evil.

James 3:14-16 GW

To be jealous is to feel anger or resentment when someone else has what we think we deserve. Jealousy happens when we are discontent; it makes us think about all the things we don’t have (rather than what we do have) and leads to bitterness because we feel it’s unfair that we’re missing out.

Self-centered ambition is about competition, turning relationships into rivalries. It drives us to seek validation through achievement, but no success is ever enough to fill that void. It makes us resentful when others succeed or when we feel like they are standing in our way.

Gratitude protects us from both of these seeds of bitterness by filling our hearts with thankfulness for what we already have. It also fills our hearts with appreciation and admiration, leaving no room for jealousy or rivalry. 

Greet Priscilla and Aquila, my co-workers in Christ Jesus. [4] They risked their lives for me. Not only I but all the churches of the Gentiles are grateful to them.

Romans 16:3-4 NIV

Here, the apostle Paul describes his co-workers with gratitude, remembering how they risked their lives for him. He is not competitive with them, and he is happy that other people appreciate and admire them. 

Every time I think of you, I give thanks to my God. Whenever I pray, I make my requests for all of you with joy, for you have been my partners in spreading the Good News about Christ from the time you first heard it until now.

Philippians 1:3-5 NLT

Rather than seeing competitors, Paul saw people in his life as gifts from God. Appreciating how God took care of him helped him find joy, peace (Philippians 4:4-7), and contentment (Philippians 4:10-13) even in very difficult situations. This verse in Philippians was written while Paul was in jail, but he was still full of joy because of his gratitude for his friends.

It’s healthy to be content, but envy can eat you up.

Proverbs 14:30 CEV

The healthy friendships we want come from contentment rather than envy and competitiveness. We don’t need to compare ourselves to the people around us; instead, we can look at them with gratitude for what they bring to our lives. 

Gratitude leads to lasting security. 

Make sure there isn’t a man or woman among your families or tribes who turns away from the LORD our God. No one must worship the gods of those nations. Make sure that kind of worship doesn’t spread like bitter poison through your whole community.

Deuteronomy 29:18 NIrV

Long before bitterness rears its head, we’ve often made subtle choices to turn our hearts away from God and toward something else. 

Do not love this world nor the things it offers you, for when you love the world, you do not have the love of the Father in you. [16] For the world offers only a craving for physical pleasure, a craving for everything we see, and pride in our achievements and possessions. These are not from the Father, but are from this world. [17] And this world is fading away, along with everything that people crave. But anyone who does what pleases God will live forever.

1 John 2:15-17 NLT

Turning our hearts away from God looks like loving things in this world more than him.   This produces a bitter poison because only God can satisfy our hearts (Ecclesiastes 3:11); everything and everyone else will leave us dissatisfied. 

These are some of the worldly pursuits the above passage mentions that often precede bitterness in my heart:

• Power: Wanting the authority and control I saw in other people.
• Pleasure: Always looking for comfort and fun.
• Praise: Craving attention and approval for my achievements.

Usually, these are things I crave when I am feeling insecure. When I first started my job, I quickly realized how good it felt to receive attention when things went well. At big events, I would act humble, but inside I was shouting, “You better say my name!” I wanted to be mentioned and acknowledged. I thrived on the praise of people but neglected my relationship with God. 

Deep down, I wanted to feel secure, but I was looking in the wrong places. When challenges hit, I wasn’t grounded. I felt insecure, overwhelmed, and miserable. Instead of learning and growing, I became bitter and wanted to quit.

In my heart, I was bitter because I wasn’t grateful for my relationship with God and the security that comes from him. God wants me to be confident whether my job is going well or not, and appreciating him protects my heart from bitterness. 

You, LORD, are all I have, and you give me all I need; my future is in your hands. [8] I am always aware of the LORD’s presence; he is near, and nothing can shake me. [9] And so I am thankful and glad, and I feel completely secure … 

Psalm 16:5, 8-9 GNT

Gratitude shifts our focus from the cravings of the world to the peace and security that come from walking closely with God. Gratitude makes us appreciate God, and it changes our desires for the world into desires to give back to God. It makes us trust God and lovingly serve him.

I trust in God, so why should I be afraid? What can mere mortals do to me? [12] I will fulfill my vows to you, O God, and will offer a sacrifice of thanks for your help. [13] For you have rescued me from death; you have kept my feet from slipping. So now I can walk in your presence, O God, in your life-giving light.

Psalm 56:11-13 NLT

As this psalm describes, being grateful for the ways God has taken care of us will  motivate us to live for and with him. He fills us with security that nothing in the world could give us, making the world’s promises look small and unappealing (Philippians 3:7-9).

Gratitude leads to love.

“Two men were in debt to a banker. One owed five hundred silver pieces, the other fifty. Neither of them could pay up, and so the banker canceled both debts. Which of the two would be more grateful?” [43-47] Simon answered, “I suppose the one who was forgiven the most.” “That’s right,” said Jesus. Then turning to the woman, but speaking to Simon, he said, “Do you see this woman? I came to your home; you provided no water for my feet, but she rained tears on my feet and dried them with her hair. You gave me no greeting, but from the time I arrived she hasn’t quit kissing my feet. You provided nothing for freshening up, but she has soothed my feet with perfume. Impressive, isn’t it? She was forgiven many, many sins, and so she is very, very grateful. If the forgiveness is minimal, the gratitude is minimal.”

Luke 7:41-47 MSG

Our gratitude grows when we see our sins and the forgiveness God offers us for them. The Bible tells us that everyone has sin (Romans 3:23). When we are aware of our own need for forgiveness, we become much more willing to forgive other people for their sins. 

Earlier in the story, we learn that other people (including Simon) viewed this woman negatively. She had probably been treated unfairly because of her reputation. She hadn’t even been invited to the dinner, and Simon had a critical attitude toward her (Luke 7:39). But she had no attitude toward him; bitterness had no hold on her because she was so grateful. If she had come to Jesus consumed with anger and resentment about other people’s unkindness, she might have missed out on the love and forgiveness of Jesus for herself. And she might have spent her energy complaining to Jesus rather than expressing her love and care for him. 

Our love for others is our grateful response to the love God first demonstrated to us.

1 John 4:19 TPT

When we truly see our sins—past and present—through the lens of God’s forgiveness, gratitude will overflow from us. We won’t have room to fixate on other people’s flaws. Our gratitude inspires us to love the way God loves us: freely and wholeheartedly.

Gratitude helps us see God’s purpose. 

You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people. [21] No, don’t be afraid. I will continue to take care of you and your children.” So he reassured them by speaking kindly to them.

Genesis 50:20-21 NLT

If anyone could be justified in having a bitter attitude, it would be Joseph, who is speaking in the verses above. His story is found in the Bible in Genesis 37-50. He was sold into slavery by his own brothers, which led to many painful and unfair experiences in the years to come. 

Years later, he was reunited with his brothers, after a series of unexpected events led to Joseph becoming a high-ranking official and saving countless people from famine. 

We can learn from what Joseph says to his brothers: Yes, they intended to harm him. But God intended it for good. 

Joseph was not enslaved to bitterness because he was grateful to God for working through his life for a good purpose. He wasn’t excusing what his brothers did; he was finding freedom from the poison of bitterness by finding purpose. 

When we have been harmed by someone, it is tempting to hold on to bitterness. But we can’t control what people do, and sometimes people will sin against us. Holding on to bitterness will not bring the healing or resolution we desire. Instead, it will poison us. Joseph learned to look for God, which kept his heart healthy, loving, and ready to be used for a good purpose regardless of what people did to him. 

Wrapping up

Bitterness is like weeds in a garden—if we don’t deal with it at the root, it keeps coming back, stronger each time.

When we shift our focus to God’s love and grace, we can let go of bitterness. By embracing gratitude, we make room for peace and healing. Instead of dwelling on what’s missing, we can rejoice in the blessings we already have—his love, our relationships, and everything he’s given us.

Let’s choose to find joy in our relationship with God, knowing that when he’s enough, bitterness can’t take root.