I have walls up that nobody sees
But you crash through me like an evergreen
Cross your heart, promise you’ll never leave.

Teddy Swims, “Evergreen”

The lyrics “I have walls up that nobody sees” describe the masks we wear and shields we erect to protect our fragility and vulnerability. What we don’t realize is that these protections are exactly what prevent us from experiencing intimacy in relationships.

I know this from personal experience. From a young age, the emotional storms of life taught me dysfunctional behaviors that became my walls—barriers to keep people out, to keep people from hurting me. But these defenses didn’t just wall others out; they walled me in.

It wasn’t until I understood that becoming a Christian and attending church weren’t enough—that I had to develop a personal relationship with God that met my psychological needs—that I was able to quiet the stormy weather consuming my heart. 

My insides are turned inside out; specters of death have me down. I shake with fear, I shudder from head to foot. “Who will give me wings,” I ask—“wings like a dove?” Get me out of here on dove wings; I want some peace and quiet. I want a walk in the country, I want a cabin in the woods. I’m desperate for a change from rage and stormy weather.

Psalm 55:4 MSG

Far too often, I have noticed in myself and others a satisfaction with surviving the storm. When we live for spiritual survival alone, we are not experiencing the psychological benefits of walking with God. Jesus called his disciples to learn how to have a powerful relationship with God so that they would not merely navigate storms but also calm and conquer them: 

The disciples went and woke him, saying, “Master, Master, we’re going to drown!” He got up and rebuked the wind and the raging waters; the storm subsided, and all was calm. [25] “Where is your faith?” he asked his disciples. In fear and amazement they asked one another, “Who is this? He commands even the winds and the water, and they obey him.”

Luke 8:24-25 NIV

Experiencing the psychological power of walking with God means calming, conquering, and triumphing over the internal disturbances and external obstacles of our lives. This is why Jesus, after calming the disciples’ storm, asked, “Where is your faith?” He was teaching them—and us—to imitate, not merely marvel. He came to show us how to calm storms ourselves, not simply wait for rescue.

Jesus challenges us in the here and now: relying on God should make us psychologically strong and spiritually powerful enough to walk as he did—conquering darkness and freeing others from it. This is how we live and help others live the abundant life he promised (John 10:10).

Where is your faith? Are you allowing God to make you psychologically strong—mentally tough and internally confident? Have you had the courage to lower your protective walls and let God do this work? Do you live with enough strength and confidence to help others lower their walls and conquer their darkness?

When we move from surviving storms to calming them, from living behind walls to conquering darkness—we become agents of transformation. This is how those first disciples changed the world. This is how we change ours.

What joy for those whose strength comes from the LORD, who have set their minds on a pilgrimage to Jerusalem. [6] When they walk through the Valley of Weeping, it will become a place of refreshing springs. The autumn rains will clothe it with blessings. [7] They will continue to grow stronger, and each of them will appear before God in Jerusalem.

Psalm 84:5-7 NLT

This is what God created you for: tearing down walls, breaking free of limitations, and experiencing God’s full power to calm storms and conquer obstacles. While many sleepwalk through what’s possible, let us embrace our calling. It begins with nine specific steps—each with a question for reflection and Scripture to release the psychological power God placed within you.

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Nine steps to experiencing the psychological benefits of walking with God

1. Conquer emotionalism.

Are you ready to move beyond managing your emotions to letting God transform them?

Scriptures for reflection:

• Philippians 3:19 GW – In the end they will be destroyed. Their own emotions are their god, and they take pride in the shameful things they do. Their minds are set on worldly things.
• Proverbs 16:32 CSB – Patience is better than power, and controlling one’s emotions, than capturing a city.
• Proverbs 29:11 GW – A fool expresses all his emotions, but a wise person controls them.
• Proverbs 14:30 MSG – A sound mind makes for a robust body, but runaway emotions corrode the bones.

2. Get out of control mode.

What would change in your life if you stopped trying to control everything and trusted God’s guidance?

Scriptures for reflection:

• Ecclesiastes 2:22-23 NIV – What do people get for all the toil and anxious striving with which they labor under the sun? [23] All their days their work is grief and pain; even at night their minds do not rest. This too is meaningless.
• James 4:2 ERV – You want things, but you don’t get them. So you kill and are jealous of others. But you still cannot get what you want. So you argue and fight. You don’t get what you want because you don’t ask God.
• Psalm 46:10 NLT – “Be still, and know that I am God! I will be honored by every nation. I will be honored throughout the world.”
• Jeremiah 29:11-12 NIV – “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. [12] Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.

3. Stop fearing man.

How much energy do you spend worrying about others’ opinions instead of loving God and trusting his will for your life?

Scriptures for reflection:

• Proverbs 29:25 NLT – Fearing people is a dangerous trap, but trusting the LORD means safety.
• Mark 12:14 Voice – “Teacher, we know You are truthful in what You say and that You don’t play favorites. You’re not worried about what anyone thinks of You, so You teach with total honesty what God would have us do.”
• 1 John 5:3 NIV – In fact, this is love for God: to keep his commands. And his commands are not burdensome…
• 2 Corinthians 5:9 NCV – Our only goal is to please God… 

4. Rely on God instead of yourself.

When facing problems, is your first instinct to pray or to fix it yourself?

Scriptures for reflection:

• 2 Chronicles 20:12 NIV – “Our God, will you not judge them? For we have no power to face this vast army that is attacking us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you.”
• Psalm 20:7 NIV – Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God.
• Psalm 73:25-26 NLT – Whom have I in heaven but you? I desire you more than anything on earth. [26] My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever.
• 2 Corinthians 1:9 NLT – In fact, we expected to die. But as a result, we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely only on God, who raises the dead.

5. Understand your humanism.

Do you find yourself trusting human solutions more readily than spiritual ones?

Scriptures for reflection:

• Luke 12:29-30 Voice – “Don’t reduce your life to the pursuit of food and drink; don’t let your mind be filled with anxiety. People of the world who don’t know God pursue these things…”
• Mark 4:19 Voice – “…but the things of this life—the worries, the drive for more and more, the desire for other things—those things cluster around close and choke the life of God out of them…”
• Mark 10:27 NLT – Jesus looked at them intently and said, “Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But not with God. Everything is possible with God.”
• Mark 11:22-23 NIV – “Have faith in God,” Jesus answered. [23] “Truly I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them.

6. Evaluate your internal weakness and insecurity.

What would inner strength from God look like in your daily struggles?

Scriptures for reflection:

• Psalm 20:1 Voice – May the Eternal’s answer find you, come to rescue you, when you desperately cling to the end of your rope.
• Proverbs 20:5 NIV – The purposes of a person’s heart are deep waters, but one who has insight draws them out.
• Ephesians 3:16 NIV – I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being,

7. See your need for forgiveness.

Are there areas of shame or accusation in your life that need God’s forgiveness?

Scriptures for reflection:

• Psalm 19:12-13 NLT – How can I know all the sins lurking in my heart? Cleanse me from these hidden faults. [13] Keep your servant from deliberate sins! Don’t let them control me. Then I will be free of guilt and innocent of great sin.
• Psalm 25:15-18 NIV – My eyes are ever on the Lord, for only he will release my feet from the snare. [16] Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. [17] Relieve the troubles of my heart and free me from my anguish. [18] Look on my affliction and my distress and take away all my sins.
• Psalm 103:11-12 NLT – For his unfailing love toward those who fear him is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth. [12] He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west.

8. Acknowledge your fear of intimacy.

What fears keep you from deeper intimacy with God and others?

Scriptures for reflection:

• Psalm 139:2-6 GNT – You know everything I do; from far away you understand all my thoughts…Your knowledge of me is too deep; it is beyond my understanding.
• Psalm 84:10 TPT – For just one day of intimacy with you is like a thousand days of joy rolled into one! I’d rather stand at the threshold in front of the Gate Beautiful, ready to go in and worship my God, than to live my life without you in the most beautiful palace of the wicked.
• Hebrews 7:19 TPT – For the law has never made anyone perfect, but in its place is a far better hope which gives us confidence to experience intimacy with God!
• 1 John 2:5-6 Voice – But if someone responds to and obeys His word, then God’s love has truly taken root and filled him. This is how we know we are in an intimate relationship with Him: [6] anyone who says, “I live in intimacy with Him,” should walk the path Jesus walked.

9. Rebuild your relationships.

Do you have patterns of dysfunction, distance, or deceit in your relationships that need to be replaced with devotion to God and the pursuit of spiritually and emotionally healthy intimacy?

Scriptures for reflection:

• 1 John 4:7-8 NLT – Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. [8] But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love.
• 1 John 4:18-19 NLT – Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love. [19] We love each other because he loved us first.
• 1 Peter 1:22 NLT – You were cleansed from your sins when you obeyed the truth, so now you must show sincere love to each other as brothers and sisters. Love each other deeply with all your heart.
• 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NIV – Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. [5] It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. [6] Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. [7] It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

The psychological power of walking with God

Finally the temple guards went back to the chief priests and the Pharisees, who asked them, “Why didn’t you bring him in?” [46] “No one ever spoke the way this man does,” the guards replied.

John 7:45-46 NIV

Jesus was impressive. Temple guards sent to arrest him were arrested by his presence instead. The literal translation of this verse reads, “Never man so spake” (John 7:46 ASV). These guards recognized three things: the uniqueness of Jesus (“never”), the inspiration of Jesus (“so”), and the powerful message of Jesus (“spake”). In all their travels and experience, no one had impacted and impressed them the way Jesus did that day.

We talk about being like Jesus, but rarely with the intention that we should be uniquely inspiring and powerful—yet that is exactly what Jesus was. Why? Because Jesus was the most psychologically strong, balanced, and aware human being who ever lived. He maximized what it meant to be human with a mastery that allowed God to use him to save the world because he was perfect.

How can we imitate him? Follow the nine steps, using them as a foundation for rebuilding your relationship with God to be transformative. Remember, this nine-step roadmap is both simple and possible, as demonstrated by these four outcomes that result when you follow the steps:

1. You will be unshakeable, keeping your eyes always on God.
   Psalm 16:8 NIV – I keep my eyes always on the LORD. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken. 
2. You will be secure, living by faith instead of control.
   Psalm 125:1 NLT – Those who trust in the LORD are as secure as Mount Zion; they will not be defeated but will endure forever.
3. You will be stable, digging deep to plant the conviction of Scripture in your heart.
   Proverbs 12:3 NLT – Wickedness never brings stability, but the godly have deep roots. 
4. You will be courageous, placing your confidence in God and keep moving forward.
   1 Corinthians 15:58 NLT – So, my dear brothers and sisters, be strong and immovable. Always work enthusiastically for the Lord, for you know that nothing you do for the Lord is ever useless.

Experiencing the psychological power of walking with God is more than having a quiet time—it’s undergoing a complete transformation where we walk with the same confidence and power Jesus walked with. It’s conquering our lives and the world around us until our lives resound so powerfully that God’s voice becomes audible through them.

I hope you’ll join me on this quest, because it is certainly the path I am traveling.