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Key takeaways
- Priscilla and Aquila showed the strength of working as a team, always supporting each other and staying close through life’s ups and downs.
- They listened to and learned from each other, making their relationship stronger and helping them share their faith with others.
- They kept serving together no matter what, reminding us that marriage can stay meaningful and impactful at every stage of life.
After Athens, Paul went to Corinth. That is where he discovered Aquila, a Jew born in Pontus, and his wife, Priscilla. They had just arrived from Italy, part of the general expulsion of Jews from Rome ordered by Claudius. Paul moved in with them, and they worked together at their common trade of tentmaking. But every Sabbath he was at the meeting place, doing his best to convince both Jews and Greeks about Jesus.
Acts 18:1-4 MSG
When the apostle Paul met Aquila and his wife, Priscilla, he discovered more than a couple of coworkers. Priscilla and Aquila had a loving, hospitable, and unified relationship that would inspire generation after generation to seek God.
Priscilla and Aquila’s marriage could stand life’s tests and uncertainties without succumbing to distance, bickering, or apathy. They had left their home behind, but they could create a home wherever they went.
The New Testament tells us that Priscilla and Aquila served together throughout their lives. Their marriage aged beautifully; their deep connection gave them courageous faith, and they made a powerful spiritual impact on the early church.
Priscilla and Aquila give us a blueprint for a marriage aging beautifully. Let’s look at a few lessons on partnership that we can learn from their story.
Lesson #1: Be intentional about being a team.
Paul stayed in Corinth for some time after that, then said good-bye to the brothers and sisters and went to nearby Cenchrea. There he shaved his head according to Jewish custom, marking the end of a vow. Then he set sail for Syria, taking Priscilla and Aquila with him.
Acts 18:18 NLT
Priscilla and Aquila were seen as a couple making an impact together. In the Bible, they are always mentioned together, demonstrating that they (and others) knew they were better together than apart. They must have cherished their unity, putting it above other things and valuing one another much like the Bible describes in Philippians 2:
Be free from pride-filled opinions, for they will only harm your cherished unity. Don’t allow self-promotion to hide in your hearts, but in authentic humility put others first and view others as more important than yourselves. [4] Abandon every display of selfishness. Possess a greater concern for what matters to others instead of your own interests. [5] And consider the example that Jesus, the Anointed One, has set before us. Let his mindset become your motivation.
Philippians 2:3-5 TPT
This passage gives us a window into the spiritual work it takes to have unity with one another. In every relationship—including marriage—the Bible gives us some specific things we need to do: Be free from pride-filled opinions. Don’t let self-promotion hide in your heart. Abandon selfishness. Be concerned for others. Let the mindset of Jesus become your motivation.
While we may enjoy the idea of being a team like Priscilla and Aquila were, we won’t experience this kind of unity unless we put passages of the Bible like these into practice.
Unity and teamwork in our marriage take intentional effort because we bring two different lives and backgrounds into one home. We have different upbringings, different expectations, and different ways of communicating. This can lead to misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and arguments. After a while, it can feel easier to drift apart than stay connected.
As we go through the stages of life and their various responsibilities, drifting apart can look like dividing into our separate lives and separate interests because we no longer want to do the work to stay close.
The problem with a “divide and conquer” approach to life is that life gives us problems we are not supposed to handle alone; we need our spouse’s strengths and support. The Bible warns us that a house divided falls, while two or more can stand strong:
Jesus knew what they were thinking. So he said to them, “Any kingdom that fights against itself will be destroyed. A family that is divided against itself will fall.
Luke 11:17 NIrV
Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. [10] If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. [11] Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? [12] A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 NLT
We need each other, and working as a team is much better than working separately. Having a friendship with our spouse, being close of heart, and knowing each other takes effort. Without taking intentional action to be unified, we will drift apart and leave our relationship superficial and damaged.
Pause and reflect
- How would I describe the teamwork in my marriage?
- Do we work at staying close with depth? Do we easily accept superficiality and distance?
Lesson #2: Listen to each other.
Meanwhile, a Jew named Apollos, an eloquent speaker who knew the Scriptures well, had arrived in Ephesus from Alexandria in Egypt. [25] He had been taught the way of the Lord, and he taught others about Jesus with an enthusiastic spirit and with accuracy. However, he knew only about John’s baptism. [26] When Priscilla and Aquila heard him preaching boldly in the synagogue, they took him aside and explained the way of God even more accurately.
Acts 18:24-26 NLT
What would have happened if Priscilla and Aquila couldn’t get on the same page about talking to Apollos?
How did they decide to take Apollos aside and teach him? While it’s possible that they both thought of the idea at the exact same time and were equally willing to go through with it, it’s more likely that they had to discuss this plan and get on the same page. To do that, Priscilla and Aquila must have known how to listen to and influence each other.
Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.
James 1:19 NLT
To build a great partnership we need to be willing to be influenced by one another. We must be quick to listen rather than being quick to share our opinions, defend ourselves, or deny anything that makes us feel embarrassed or vulnerable.
Listening requires humility—the humility to accept that we don’t know everything, and we can’t see everything. God works through people who know us to help us see things we miss. Pride flatters (Psalm 36:1-2 NIV), making us believe that we are right and we have nothing to learn. As a result, we can miss out on the positive impact our spouse can have on us and the beautiful life God wants us to live together (Romans 8:28 VOICE).
Apollos would go on to become one of the most influential leaders in the early church. Countless lives were changed because of Priscilla and Aquila’s ability to listen to each other, and the same can be true for us!
Pause and reflect:
- How would my spouse evaluate my willingness to listen?
Lesson #3: Keep serving.
Greet Priscilla and Aquila, my co-workers in Christ Jesus. [4] They risked their lives for me. Not only I but all the churches of the Gentiles are grateful to them. [5] Greet also the church that meets at their house. Greet my dear friend Epenetus, who was the first convert to Christ in the province of Asia.
Romans 16:3-5 NIV
After hosting Paul in their home for years, leaving their home behind (again!) for missionary work, and at some point risking their lives for Paul, Priscilla and Aquila could have decided that they had served enough. They could have decided they were tired, and that laying down their lives for others was a “young man’s game.”
But they didn’t. They kept serving, helping people find God through their home.
As we age, one of the temptations we will face is to slow down our efforts to serve God, our community around us, and the church—especially if we have given a lot in our earlier years. Middle and late adulthood bring many challenges that make it feel more difficult to keep helping other people:
- We have more personal health challenges.
- We need to care for aging/ailing parents or our parents pass away.
- We have adult children who need support.
- We are anxious about our financial future and long-term care.
All of these challenges make it tempting to feel like we don’t have the bandwidth to serve others. In these moments, we need to remember verses like Hebrews 6:10:
For God is not unjust. He will not forget how hard you have worked for him and how you have shown your love to him by caring for other believers, as you still do. [11] Our great desire is that you will keep on loving others as long as life lasts, in order to make certain that what you hope for will come true. [12] Then you will not become spiritually dull and indifferent. Instead, you will follow the example of those who are going to inherit God’s promises because of their faith and endurance.
Hebrews 6:10-12 NLT
God sees how hard we work, and he wants us to keep going. When we slow down or are tempted to quit giving to others, the Bible says we will become spiritually dull and indifferent. We will lose hope.
As we journey through life, we need to fight the pull of apathy and spiritual fatigue by believing that our love for others makes a difference. How many spiritual lives were saved because Priscilla and Aquila decided to keep opening their home?
Pause and reflect
- What limitations in my life make it feel challenging to serve others?
- What are some ways my spouse and I can “keep on loving others”?
Lesson #4: Help each other believe in your second act.
What if Priscilla and Aquila thought they were done after their “first act”? They hosted the apostle Paul, gave him a home and family while he did essential work on behalf of all the world. Luckily, they still believed God wanted to do more through their marriage. They would go on to set sail for new horizons (Acts 18:18) and build a new home in a new place, where they could continue to grow in their impact.
No matter what stage we are entering, God wants us to look at the future with an expectant attitude, wondering where he is taking us next.
That is why we never give up. Our physical body is becoming older and weaker, but our spirit inside us is made new every day. [17] We have small troubles for a while now, but these troubles are helping us gain an eternal glory. That eternal glory is much greater than our troubles. [18] So we think about what we cannot see, not what we see. What we see lasts only a short time, and what we cannot see will last forever.
2 Corinthians 4:16-18 ERV
Our physical bodies might be getting older and weaker, but the spirit inside us can be refreshed day after day as we think about our impact in this life and the next.
As we age, it is easy to believe that our best days are behind us. The increasing limitations and complications in our lives can make it seem impossible that God could do more than we ask or imagine through us.
Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.
Ephesians 3:20 NLT
Verses like these challenge us to believe that God is still able to work powerfully through us in this stage of life. In fact, his power works even more effectively in our lives when we are weak (2 Corinthians 12:9-10). So our second or third act of life could be even greater than our first, back when we had more physical energy and fewer limitations.
In marriage, we can help each other continue to believe, grow, and pursue new frontiers. Our marriage relationship is a great place to practice Hebrews 10:24, which says to spur one another on toward love and good deeds:
And let us consider how to spur one another on to love and good deeds.
Hebrews 10:24 BSB
Rather than letting each other settle into believing that our best days are behind us, we can encourage each other to use our time and talents to do good. We can help each other with ideas about how to do this, like using our homes to serve others, the way Priscilla and Aquila did—inviting people in and building family with those who need it.
Pause and reflect:
- Do I believe that this stage of my life can be even greater than the last? Why or why not?
Final thoughts
In Priscilla and Aquila, we find a remarkable example of a marriage rooted in unity, humility, and purpose. Despite the challenges they faced, their bond remained steadfast, adapting to the trials of life together. Through their journey, Priscilla and Aquila show us a marriage that aged beautifully. By following their example of teamwork, unity, love, and belief, we too can experience the miracles that God can do through our homes.