See, every relationship I’ve ever loved
It starts when someone says,
“Show me where it hurts and give me something real.
And lead me to the part of you that never really heals.
And say the words that burn when they leave your mouth.
Tell me your story, but don’t leave the good parts out.”

Andy Grammer, “The Good Parts” 

The strongest and most pervasive temptation of our current generation is to settle for superficiality. This human instinct to stay on the surface is what got me to start The Chemistry Lab in the first place. By all accounts, it is easier to stay superficial than it is to go deep. But not everything that is easier is better. 

This is what Andy Grammer addresses in his song, “The Good Parts.” In our efforts to protect ourselves from pain or potential rejection, our instinct is to ignore the things that hurt, feel heavy, or cause us shame. But this also leaves out “the good parts” —the real, whole, and full life that comes from a deep connection with God.

What Andy Grammer’s song communicates is the battle we face every day to choose between superficiality and depth. 

But Jesus, for His part, did not entrust Himself to them, because He knew all people [and understood the superficiality and fickleness of human nature], [25] and He did not need anyone to testify concerning man [and human nature], for He Himself knew what was in man [in their hearts—in the very core of their being].

John 2:24-25 AMP

As Jesus communicated, it’s our natural human instinct to choose superficiality over depth. I wrote about this phenomenon in the very first Chemistry Lab newsletter:

Much of what’s going wrong in our culture—whether in politics, religion, or relationships—can be traced to how superficiality has displaced spirituality… For us to choose spirituality, we must learn from Jesus and resist the temptation to reduce life to the wisdom of a tweet or the opinion of an influencer. We must resist the urge to live by emotional reactions without reflection and human judgment absent the Word of God.

Maybe you, like me, have noticed the superficiality of the world. Maybe you’ve even noticed it in your own life. As I’ve written about in The Chemistry Lab, the world needs leaders who are willing to understand, discover, and look beyond what they can see. The world needs people who aren’t afraid to go deep, who recognize the futility of superficial solutions to their problems and search for spiritual ones instead. 

How do we go deep in a superficial world? 

But how do we overcome our human instinct to remain on the surface? How do we grow to live a life of depth and discovery?

Don’t you know that He who pursues and explores the human heart intimately knows the Spirit’s mind because He pleads to God for His saints to align their lives with the will of God? [28] We are confident that God is able to orchestrate everything to work toward something good and beautiful when we love Him and accept His invitation to live according to His plan.

Romans 8:27-28 Voice

God is not superficial. He understands and explores our hearts to an intimate depth that no human can reach. If we want to live this life of depth, we need to connect our hearts to his. This process of aligning our hearts with God’s and discovering what he is orchestrating in our lives begins in prayer.

One of my friends opened my eyes to this truth at a moment when I was struggling to have faith. Everything about Christianity seemed like a rule to me. I felt stuck and frustrated, but I didn’t know how to change. I asked my friend for help, and he told me that my faith would grow deeper when I learned how to pray (Luke 11:1). 

My experience of Christianity felt shallow and superficial because my conversations with God were superficial. I couldn’t sustain a very long conversation with him. The more I learned how to pray deeply, the more connected to God I became. I discovered more and more things to talk about with him and our conversations grew not only in length but also in depth. My focus started to change from behaving right to believing in God’s purpose for my life.

This was a pivotal moment for me, and it was only the beginning. Building a deep connection with God is not a skill that can be mastered. It is a daily journey embarked on by those who are always willing to learn and discover something new.

And those [in the last group] are the ones on whom seed was sown on the good soil; and they hear the word [of God, the good news regarding the way of salvation] and accept it and bear fruit—thirty, sixty, and a hundred times as much [as was sown].” [25] For whoever has [a teachable heart], to him more [understanding] will be given; and whoever does not have [a yearning for truth], even what he has will be taken away from him.”

Mark 4:20, 24-25 AMP

Whether we are new to faith or a seasoned Christian, we need a teachable heart to build a deep connection with God. As we pray and embrace God’s Word each day with humility and curiosity, we will develop even more understanding and depth than we could ever have on our own. 

Like a plant, God’s Word can grow deep into our hearts and shape us from the inside out. But we need to cultivate the soil of our hearts to make room for the Word to grow. The more we till the soil and water the seed of God’s Word, the more we will see its fruit in our lives—character, conviction, confidence, and courage (Galatians 5:22-23). 

This is how we fight the superficiality of the world. This is how we discover the whole and full life that comes with a deep walk with God.

A guide to digging deep and having a fruitful quiet time with God 

This week, my team and I have developed a guide to help us embark on a journey of deep discovery in our relationship with God. Using Jesus’s metaphor of planting a seed, we will break down the broad topic of spiritual depth into something we can experience every day. On the first page of the guide, you’ll find five steps: 

• 👨‍🌾 Prep the soil: Soften the soil of your heart through awareness.

• 🧰 Pick your tools: Choose questions that will deepen your understanding of Scripture.

• 🌱 Plant the seeds: Write down your reactions and responses as you read the Bible.

• 💦 Water the plant: Deepen your connection with God by praying about what he revealed to you.

• 🍎 See the fruit: Bring the Word of God into your life and watch how it grows.

On the second page of the guide, we added a space called “The Parking Lot.” Sometimes, when we slow down enough to spend time with God, we also remember other things—anxious thoughts, items we need to do, or people we need to connect with. These things are often important but can distract us from digging deeper into our hearts. The Parking Lot is a place to write down any of these thoughts so that you can come back to them later and keep your focus on God while you read the Bible and pray. 

Download the guide: How to Have a Deep Quiet Time

What to read with this guide 

You can use this quiet time guide as a companion to anything you are reading in the Bible. You can print it out, use it digitally, or write notes in a notebook. To start off, try using it while reading or listening to one of our Scripture Playlists that dives into a specific topic in the Bible. A great way to get started in building more depth is studying this set of scriptures about God’s deep understanding of us: 

God Understands Me (Scripture Playlist)

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