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Brothers and sisters, we want you to know about the hard times we had in Asia Minor. We were having a lot of trouble. It was far more than we could stand. We even thought we were going to die. In fact, we felt as if we were under the sentence of death. But that happened so that we would not depend on ourselves but on God. He raises the dead to life. 

2 Corinthians 1:8-9 NIrV

Experience changes us. As a kid, life looked easy to me. As an adult, I realize life is hard—not all the time, but any progress meets resistance. Building a life, growing up, going to school, launching a career, starting and nurturing a family—each stage is filled with obstacles and difficulties that are genuinely hard.

Obscuring every dream are obstacles that cause us to settle rather than succeed, obstacles that just feel too hard. Every day I experience “hard” or know someone who is experiencing “hard.” I’ve seen some people surrender and settle. I’ve seen others persist with relentless, tenacious determination until their dreams come true.

This leads us to a simple premise: the hardness of life is meant to turn us from self-reliance to God-reliance. When we admit that we are not okay, we acknowledge that this life is hard, but we believe that this hardness is there to help us learn to depend on God rather than ourselves.

This is what Paul teaches in 2 Corinthians 1:8-9: the hard times are specifically designed to break our self-reliance and teach us God-reliance.

This lab experiment requires you to do what the Jelly Roll song “I Am Not Okay” captures so honestly: take off your mask and admit that you are “not okay.” Admitting this is not defeat. It’s the doorway to God-awakening. Your mask isn’t protecting you; it’s preventing the breakthrough you desperately need.

What follows are four steps that lead you down the path toward letting go of masks and embracing the joy of relying on God. Just as in our last lab experiment, you’ll go through this process together with a “discovery partner,” with whom you can grow and learn together. Let’s begin!

Reflection: What if your hard times and the struggles you are experiencing aren’t a sign you’re failing spiritually, but that you’re at the exact place where God wants to meet you most powerfully?

Step 1: Do a heart check.

Where is your heart right now regarding letting God help you with what’s hard?

• Resistant — I don’t want to deal with life or anything deep right now. Admitting “I’m not okay” feels like giving up. I’m afraid to depend on God. I’d rather keep trying to handle things myself than risk being vulnerable with God about how hard things really are.
• Reflective — I’m not sure where I’m at right now. I know I’m struggling, but I don’t know if I’m relying on myself or God. I need help figuring out what God-reliance actually looks like in my daily hard times.
• Receptive — I’m ready to admit life is too hard to handle alone. I want to learn what it feels like to rely on God instead of just relying on myself. I’m tired of surviving and ready for a breakthrough.
• Ready — I’m done pretending I can do this alone. I’m ready to make the shift from self-reliance to God-reliance. I just need to experience what it feels like to depend on him when life gets hard.

Be courageous. Pray, write, or talk with your discovery partner about which box you checked and why. It takes courage to admit where you really are—whether you’re exhausted from self-reliance, afraid to depend on God, confused about what dependence means, or ready to finally let Him help. God already knows. This honesty is your first step toward God-reliance.

Step 2: Self-evaluate what you’re relying on and discover your “one thing.”

The royal spokesman said to them, “Tell Hezekiah: The great king, the king of Assyria, says this: What are you relying on?

Isaiah 36:4 CSB

Question 1: How do I identify what my masks are, and what I’m masking?

When life gets hard, we instinctively protect ourselves. We create versions of ourselves that hide our struggle—masks that say we’re fine when we’re not. When we put masks on, we’re not just lying to others; we’re lying to ourselves about how much we’re actually relying on our own strength instead of God’s.

Here are some common masks people wear when life is hard. Circle which one you wear most when life gets hard for you:

• The Capable One (I’m more than talented enough.)
• The Spiritual One (I’m trusting God—no problems here.)
• The Strong One (I don’t need help—I’m not weak.)
• The Busy One (I’m too busy to deal with my struggles.)
• The Fine One (Everything’s fine, really.)
• The Independent One (I prefer to go alone—people are too stressful.)
• The Fragile One (I can’t handle thinking about this.)

What are you actually hiding underneath that mask? (Fear? Exhaustion? Doubt? Anger at God? Feeling overwhelmed?)

Pray, write, or talk with your discovery partner: When did you first start wearing this mask? What would happen if you took it off and admitted to God (and others) how hard things really are?

Question 2: How does wearing a mask affect my faith?

Check off all that apply to you (be honest!):

• I pray more authentically when I’m alone than when I’m with others. 
• I’ve edited my prayers to sound more “spiritual” or mature than what I really feel. 
• There are struggles I haven’t told God about because I’m ashamed or afraid. 
• I believe God loves the “strong, faithful version” of me more than the struggling version. 
• My faith feels more like performance than relationship. 
• I’m exhausted from trying to maintain my mask even in my relationship with God.

How many did you check? _______

Pray, write, or talk with your discovery partner: How has hiding from people trained you to hide from God? What would change if you brought your unmasked, struggling self to God in prayer?

Question 3: What does “turning from self-reliance to God-reliance” practically look like?

Self-reliance looks like:

• Trying to fix everything myself before asking for help
• Feeling like I have to have answers before I can pray
• Believing my worth depends on handling things well
• Managing my image so people think I’m okay
• Praying only after I’ve exhausted my own solutions
• Feeling guilty or weak when I need help

God-reliance looks like:

• Bringing my problems to God first, not last
• Praying even when I don’t know what to say
• Understanding God wants a relationship not a performance
• Being honest about my struggles—understanding this is the “me” God wants to know.
• Asking God for help before trying to fix things myself
• Viewing dependence on God as strength, not weakness

Circle the statements in each section above that describe you most accurately right now.

Identify one specific area where you’re still relying on yourself instead of God: 

• My finances 
• My relationships 
• My emotions 
• My reputation/image 
• My career/work/school
• My health 
• My future/plans 
• Other: _______________________

Pray, write, or talk with your discovery partner: In this area, what does self-reliance look like for you day-to-day? What would God-reliance look like instead? What scares you about depending on God in this area?

Question 4: How do I “end suppression of God” in my life? What does this look like in my daily life outside of a quiet time?

In a previous edition of The Chemistry Lab, we learned that we can’t experience the psychological benefits of walking with God or help others experience these benefits if his presence is suppressed in our lives. 

Do an honest assessment of how much suppression of God is happening in your life:

• Do I experience God as present throughout my day, or compartmentalized to “spiritual times”?
• When I faced a challenge yesterday, did I instinctively turn to God or to my own solutions first?

This week, God has been suppressed in my life by: (check all that apply)

• Busyness and distraction—too busy to think about him 
• Shame that keeps me from approaching him 
• Self-reliance that makes me forget I need him 
• Entertainment that numbs what he wants to heal 
• Fear of what he might ask me to change 
• Exhaustion—I don’t have energy for God on top of everything else 
• Other:

Pray, write, or talk with your discovery partner: What would it look like to invite God into your hardest moment of each day this week—not just your quiet time, but the actual hard stuff? What’s one way you could practice remembering God is present when life gets hard?

Question 5: What does relying on God with our emotions look like? How do we run to God with our difficult emotions without overindulging them?

Hard times come with difficult emotions. Psalm 42 gives us a model for how to run to God with these emotions:

Why am I so overwrought? Why am I so disturbed? Why can’t I just hope in God? Despite all my emotions, I will believe and praise the One who saves me and is my life.

Psalm 42:5 Voice

Notice: The psalmist doesn’t ignore his emotions (overwrought, disturbed). He doesn’t wallow in them either. He names them honestly, then redirects them toward God.

Your practice:

• Name it: What emotion are you feeling most strongly right now about your hard circumstances? (anger, fear, sadness, anxiety, shame, loneliness, overwhelm, exhaustion, etc.)
• Own it: Where do you feel this in your body? What does it make you want to do?
• Bring it to God: Write, pray aloud, or share with your discovery partner a brutally honest prayer bringing this emotion to God. Don’t edit it to sound spiritual. Let God hear the real you.

Example: “God, I’m so angry right now I feel the bitterness building and growing. I feel abandoned by you. I feel like you are unfair and only judge me, condemn me, and make me suffer. I don’t understand why you’re letting this happen. What is the point of staying faithful if all you do is let my life be hard day after day.”

Your honest prayer:

Redirect it: Now complete this sentence: “Despite all my emotions, I will believe and praise the One who saves me because…”

The one thing:

Look at everything you’ve written in Step 2. Now complete this sentence:

The one thing keeping me from depending on God instead of myself is…

And if I let God help me with this one thing instead of trying to handle it alone, everything would change because…

Step 3: Make a relationship connection.

We have spoken freely to you in Corinth and have opened our hearts to you.

2 Corinthians 6:11 NCV

Your assignment: Practice opening your heart freely with your discovery partner (a spiritual mentor, friend, or prayer partner). This conversation requires deeper vulnerability than our lab experiment from last week. Schedule a 45-60 minute conversation with your discovery partner within the next 48 hours. Meeting within this window ensures that you’ll let your partner help you spiritually before you try to fix things yourself. 

Share 

Courageously open your heart by sharing these discoveries from Step 2:

1. Your “Heart Check” status and the sentences you wrote about why you checked it.
2. The mask you identified and what you’re hiding underneath it.
3. How many checkboxes you marked in Question 2 about how masks affect your faith.
4. Your honest prayer from Question 5—yes, share the unedited version with them.
5. The specific area where you’re still relying on yourself instead of God.
6. Your “One Thing” statement about what’s keeping you from depending on God.

Ask

Take another courageous step by asking your discovery partner these questions:

• “Have you seen me wear this mask? What have you noticed?”
• “From your perspective, what does self-reliance look like in my life??”
• “What would it look like for me to practice God-reliance instead of self-reliance in [specific area]?”
• “Will you help me stay unmasked? Will you give me permission to be honest with you even when it’s messy?”

The challenge: End this conversation by taking off your mask right there with them. Tell them one true thing about how you’re really doing—about how hard things actually are—that you haven’t told anyone else.

After the conversation, pray about, talk through, or write down your answers to these questions:

How did it feel to be unmasked?: 

What was the most challenging or encouraging thing they said? 

Focus

With your discovery partner, complete this statement together:

“For the next 7 days, my one focus will be practicing God-reliance in _____________ (specific area) by _____________ (specific action).”

Example: “For the next 7 days, my one focus will be practicing God-reliance in my anxiety about work by bringing my worries to God in prayer first thing each morning before I check email or make plans.”

My statement:

And if I stay at this, here’s how this change can change everything:

Grow

Growth doesn’t happen all at once! Choose a way to stay connected with your discovery partner this week. Use the action plan in the next section to guide your conversations.

My discovery partner will check in with me by: (choose one) 

• Daily text at _______ (time) asking “Did you bring it to God first?” 
• Every other day phone call to pray together. 
• Talking three times this week to share what changed when I practiced God-reliance.
• Other: ____________

Step 4: Take action for a week — see what happens!

Let’s revisit our foundational scripture: 

… We were crushed and overwhelmed beyond our ability to endure, and we thought we would never live through it. [9] In fact, we expected to die. But as a result, we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely only on God, who raises the dead.

2 Corinthians 1:8-9 NLT

Relying on God is something we have to learn, just like we have to learn any other skill or ability in our lives. We don’t master it instantly, but we make progress through daily persistence.

Over the next seven days, follow these small steps (with the help of your discovery partner!) 

Day 1: Name what’s hard.

Morning prayer: 

Instead of starting with what you need to accomplish today, start by naming what’s hard. Tell God the three hardest things you’re facing right now. Don’t use religious language; just name them honestly: “God, here’s what’s hard: [1]…, [2]…, [3]… I can’t do this alone. I need you.”

Evening: 

Pray, write, or talk with your discovery partner: Did I bring today’s hard things to God first, or did I try to handle them myself? What was different when I started with God?

Day 2: Take off your mask with God.

Morning: 

Read Psalm 139:1-6 slowly. Notice how thoroughly God already knows you—including what you’re hiding.

Throughout the day: 

When you feel the urge to put on your mask today (like saying “I’m fine” when you’re not), pause. Pray right then: “God, I’m wearing my mask again. Here’s what I’m really feeling…” Tell him the truth.

Evening: 

Pray, write, or talk with your discovery partner about these questions: What mask did I wear today? What was I protecting by wearing it? What happened when I took it off with God?

Day 3: Practice God-reliance in your one area.

Morning: 

Review your answers in the “focus” section from Step 3. This is the specific area where you’re moving from self-reliance to God-reliance.

Throughout the day: 

Every time this area comes up (your finances, your relationship, your work, etc.), practice this pattern:

1. Notice your first instinct (to fix it yourself, control it, or worry about it)
2. Stop and pray: “God, I’m bringing this to you first instead of trying to handle it myself.”
3. Ask God: “What do you want me to do? I’m depending on you, not me.”

Evening: 

Pray, write, or talk with your discovery partner about these questions: How many times did I remember to bring this area to God first? What happened when I did? What happened when I forgot and went back to self-reliance?

Day 4: End suppression—invite God into the hard moment.

Morning: 

Review your answer to question 4 from Step 2 about how God has been suppressed in your life. 

Throughout the day 

Identify the hardest part of your day (e.g. the meeting you’re dreading, the difficult conversation, the overwhelming task, or the lonely evening). Before that moment comes, pray: “God, I’m inviting you into this moment. I can’t do this without you. I’m depending on your strength, not mine.”

During the hard moment: 

You don’t have to stop what you’re doing. Pray with your eyes and heart open. Talk to God in real-time, even as the hard thing is happening: “God, I need you right now. Help me.”

Evening: 

Pray, write, or talk with your discovery partner: Did inviting God into the hard moment change anything? Did I experience his presence, or did I forget he was there?

Day 5: Run to God with your emotions.

Morning: 

Re-read Psalm 42:5. Notice the pattern: Name it → own it → redirect it to God.

Midday: 

When difficult emotions surface today (e.g. anger, fear, overwhelm, or sadness), practice the Psalm 42 pattern:

• Name it: “I’m feeling _______”
• Own it: “This is making me want to _______”
• Bring it to God: “God, I’m feeling _______ and I’m bringing this to you”
• Redirect it: “Despite what I feel, I’m choosing to trust you because _______”

Evening: 

Pray, write, or talk with your discovery partner about these questions: What emotion did I bring to God today? How did running to God through my emotions (instead of away from them or stuffing them) change how I experienced them?

Day 6: Share your breakthrough.

Morning/Midday: 

Think about what you’ve learned this week about God-reliance. Identify one person (not your discovery partner) who is struggling with self-reliance in an area of their life.

Your assignment: 

Share with them one thing you learned this week about depending on God. Be specific: “This week I realized I was trying to handle [area] all by myself. When I started bringing it to God first, here’s what changed…”

Evening: 

Pray, write, or talk with your discovery partner about these questions: How did it feel to share what God is teaching you? Did sharing it deepen your own understanding of God-reliance?

Day 7: What it feels like to rely on God.

Morning:

Read 2 Corinthians 1:8-9 again: “But that happened so that we would not depend on ourselves but on God. He raises the dead to life.”

Afternoon/Evening:

Pray, write, or talk with your discovery partner about these questions:

• How has God shown up this week when I practiced depending on him?
• What’s one area where I moved from self-reliance to God-reliance, even imperfectly?
• Now that I’ve experienced it, what does it actually feel like to rely on God instead of myself?
• What hard thing do I need to keep bringing to God instead of trying to handle alone?

Final question: What changes now that you know what it feels like to rely on God?

Remember: Breakthrough doesn’t come from perfectly practicing God-reliance for seven days. It comes through spiritual incrementalism—small daily steps that accumulate to produce great growth. This has been a weeklong experiment of taking small, courageous choices to bring your hard things to God first instead of last. You’re not abandoning responsibility; you’re learning that depending on God is how you were designed to live. And your experiment is successful when you can tell others: “Here’s what it feels like to rely on God instead of myself.”