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The Holiday Bundle

When we walk with God, he can do more than we could ask or imagine through our holiday season. These spiritual tools will fill us with joy, gratitude, and peace no matter what comes our way.

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Look familiar?

If this describes how the holiday season feels to you, you’re not alone. The holiday season comes with a lot of competing priorities:

  • Family expectations
  • Deadlines at work or school
  • Our desires or expectations for what we want the holidays to be like
  • Parties and events that require planning and gift-giving
  • Pressures to live up to what we see on social media and movies
  • The exhaustion of the year catching up to us and our desire for a break

Trying to juggle all of these things is nearly impossible, which is why we need focus. But it can be difficult to determine which demands actually matter and which we should let go. Until we learn to prioritize, we will miss out on opportunities to connect and our experience of life becomes stressful rather than enjoyable. 

God can help us focus on what really matters:

As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. [39] She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. [40] But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” [41] “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, [42] but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

Luke 10:38-42 NIV

Martha wasn’t a bad person, she was just juggling too much. She actually had many strengths—she cared about her guests, she asked for help, and she was willing to work hard. But she needed help knowing how to focus. She was too distracted to enjoy her friendships with Jesus and his disciples. Her distractibility had a negative impact on her relationship with Jesus and other people:

  • She became mistrusting and unbelieving of Jesus – “Lord, don’t you care?’
  • She became bitter and blaming toward Mary – “my sister has left me…”
  • This all led to isolation and loneliness – “…to do the work by myself.”

Jesus responded to Martha’s distractibility by helping her narrow down her focus to what truly mattered. 

As we enter into the holidays, we too need that singular focus, regardless of who we’re around or what responsibilities we have. If we live our lives constantly trying to keep every ball in the air, we will inevitably drop some. 

When we have trouble focusing like this, we may experience what neuroscientists call “executive dysfunction.” In our brains, executive functioning helps us plan, make decisions, prioritize, and manage emotions. On the flipside, executive dysfunction can lead to impulsivity, forgetfulness, emotional reactivity, and prioritization issues, resulting in burnout. While common in ADHD, it can affect anyone, especially when we have a lot to juggle.

If we simplify our focus, we will carry our responsibilities better and enter the new year refreshed and ready, rather than depleted and needing to recover. 

This article is meant to help us keep our priorities straight by giving us the acronym F.O.C.U.S.

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Faith: Have a spiritual game plan
Openness: Be honest and flexible
Clarity: Know my priorities
Unplugging: Do relationship-centered activities
Structure: Accept my limitations 

As you click on each section, you’ll find answers to the following questions:

  • What’s the issue?
  • What’s the solution?
  • How do I do it?

With Faith, Openness, Clarity, Unplugging, and Structure, this holiday season can be one of connection and calm rather than detachment and distractibility. Enjoy!

Included in this article are also downloadable graphics that you can use as wallpapers as reminders or share with friends!

With Faith, Openness, Clarity, Unplugging, and Structure, this holiday season can be one of connection and calm rather than detachment and distractibility. Click on the letters below to start your journey to a focused holiday season. Enjoy!

Faith: Have a spiritual game plan

The holidays can easily lead to spiritual disconnection, as distractions or negative thoughts creep in. 

  • We can get distracted by overplanning, meeting our family’s demands, or not knowing how to prioritize unstructured time. 
  • We can have negative thoughts over our own inadequacies or doubts whether God or friends care about us. We might reflect on the year coming to an end and regret unmet goals or miss family or friends who are not around.

Anxiety, self-reliance, and overstimulation can drown out faith.

Don’t you know? Haven’t you heard? The Eternal, the Everlasting God, The Creator of the whole world, never gets tired or weary. His wisdom is beyond understanding. [29] God strengthens the weary and gives vitality to those worn down by age and care. [30] Young people will get tired; strapping young men will stumble and fall. [31] But those who trust in the Eternal One will regain their strength. They will soar on wings as eagles. They will run-never winded, never weary. They will walk- never tired, never faint.

Isaiah 40:28-31 Voice

  • Trying to manage all our anxieties, frustrations, relationship conflicts, and so much more on our own is exhausting. If we’re expecting to get through the holidays without making a mistake or getting worn out, we’re going to be disappointed. 
  • The good thing is, we have access to a God that is never tired or worn out. 
  • No matter our age, circumstance, or life stage, we all need a strong connection to the God who can give us the faith we need to both endure and enjoy this holiday season.
You will keep in perfect and constant peace the one whose mind is steadfast [that is, committed and focused on You—in both inclination and character], Because he trusts and takes refuge in You [with hope and confident expectation].

Isaiah 26:3 AMP

  • Having our minds and hearts focused on God will help us not get distracted or overwhelmed. If we are going to come out of the holidays with more faith rather than less, we need a spiritual game plan. 
  • Take ten minutes today to plan your times with God this holiday season. If you have a spouse or roommate, work on a plan together. Decide on:

What you are going to focus on. Identify a specific area for spiritual growth and align your reading and prayers with this theme. Share it with friends and family so they can help you stick with it.

What you are going to read. To help you reach this spiritual goal, choose a book of the Bible to read or a spiritual concept to explore during this time.

Where (and when) you are going to pray. Find a quiet place and time for prayer, preferably outdoors if possible. Pray about how you can reach the spiritual goal you have.

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Openness: Be honest and flexible

Overwhelm often stems from unclear or mismatched expectations—whether from others or ourselves. 

Unrealistic family demands, anxiety about disappointing others, and rigid visions of “perfect holidays” contribute to stress.

Lack of communication with spouses, families, or friends can lead to conflict and feelings of hurt, bitterness, and overwhelm.

We need two types of openness: honesty and flexibility.

Turn my eyes away from vanity [all those worldly, meaningless things that distractlet Your priorities be mine], And restore me [with renewed energy] in Your ways.

Psalm 119:37 AMP 

This psalmist had to be honest with himself that he was getting distracted by worldly, meaningless things, and that his priorities were not aligned with God’s. 

Others’ approval, nostalgia for past traditions, or avoiding past pain can be some of the worldly desires that distract us. Sometimes our desires aren’t necessarily bad, but it’s our lack of acknowledging them that leaves us overwhelmed.

God loves you and has chosen you as his own special people. So be gentle, kind, humble, meek, and patient. [13] Put up with each other, and forgive anyone who does you wrong, just as Christ has forgiven you. [14] Love is more important than anything else. It is what ties everything completely together.

Colossians 3:12-14 CEV

Colossians 3 tells us that love is more important than anything else. That’s what helps us be forgiving, humble, kind, and patient with each other. It’s what helps us “put up with each other,” which the NLT translation calls making “allowance for each other’s faults.” All of this requires us to be flexible with our expectations. 

When love is more important than anything else, we will be honest about our desires and expectations without demanding them. We will understand and accept our families’ needs, shifting our expectations from wanting our way to seeking to love and connect.

  • Write down your holiday expectations. What are the “meaningless things that distract” you? What are your desires, and do they align with God and the Bible?

Tip: This is just a time to get aware and honest. Don’t hold back your expectations thinking about what they should be. Just say what they are — even if you know they are unrealistic or “bad.” Honesty is the key here.

Talk to your spouse or friends about what each of your expectations are so you can get on the same page.

Pick a scripture to help you focus on God’s bigger picture and be flexible when inevitable changes or obstacles arise.

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Clarity: Know my priorities

For I want you to understand what really matters, so that you may live pure and blameless lives until the day of Christ’s return.

Philippians 1:10 NLT

As mentioned earlier, executive functioning helps us plan, make decisions, prioritize, and manage emotions. In other words: it helps us understand what really matters.

Executive dysfunction often comes when we are not clear on what really matters. Without clarity on priorities, we may experience some of these things: 

  • paralysis in decision-making, 
  • over-reactive emotional responses to changes, 
  • becoming rigid and controlling in what we want and have planned, and 
  • unfinished tasks leading to chaos and stress for us and those around us.

“Teacher, which is the most important commandment in the law of Moses?” [37] Jesus replied, “‘You must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ [38] This is the first and greatest commandment. [39] A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ [40] The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.”

Matthew 22:36-40 NLT

When someone asked Jesus what the most important rule to follow was, Jesus gave clarity. He said it’s all about two things: loving God and loving one another. Everything else should be seen in light of these two priorities.

By focusing on loving God and each other, we can better understand what really matters and let go of distractions, helping us use our time and energy wisely.

We should look at every situation as a chance to strengthen our relationships. 

  • Feeling lost or stuck is a chance to ask advice from family
  • Feeling stressed or overwhelmed is a chance to be vulnerable with a spouse
  • Things not going your way is a chance to share a laugh with a friend.

When experiencing executive dysfunction and uncertainty about priorities, try a few tactics:

  • Pause and pray to slow thoughts, express emotions, and refocus on what matters.
  • Engage in conversation with a spouse or friend to process overwhelming feelings and gain perspective on priorities.
  • Take a walk outdoors to regulate emotions and reset your nervous system.
  • Look for ways to serve. As you look for how to love and serve those around you during the holidays, it will become clear what you should prioritize and what you should let go of.

Listen to these podcasts to help you focus your mind on what really matters:

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Unplugging: Do relationship-centered activities

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Romans 12:2 NIV

The holidays give us many opportunities to fall into the trap of the world:

  • Constantly comparing ourselves to others will leave us feeling pressured to create the picture-perfect holiday that will look good on social media.
  • Constantly seeking out the next dopamine hit and ways to feel good through food, TV, video games, and more will leave us feeling dissatisfied and unable to enjoy the moment.

The generous will prosper; those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed.
Proverbs 11:25 NLT

When we get sucked into social media or the next dopamine hit, what we are most often looking for is refreshment and rest. God wants us to be refreshed, but he knows how we can actually be refreshed — with relationships.

  • Unplug from social media by choosing to serve and encourage others. When you spend your time thinking about how to care for someone else and improve their day, you won’t be as worried about comparing yourself or trying to impress them.
  • Unplug from seeking pleasure by spending time with friends. Often, we look for quick pleasures when we’re feeling lonely or trying to avoid bad feelings. The more we connect with friends, the less we’ll feel the urge to seek out things that end up making us feel less satisfied.

Practicing gratitude is another way to pull us out of the vortex of constant comparisons and pleasure-seeking. 

Keep a daily gratitude journal. Write one or two things you are grateful for every day, and pray to God about them. This will keep your mind focused on what you have rather than what you don’t have.

Limit (but don’t cut out) social media. Social media isn’t always a bad thing — we just need it in smaller doses. Apps like Screen Zen can help you enjoy limited screen time of social media and entertainment apps, while also giving you reminders of why you are limiting it in the first place. 

Do active or hands-on activities with loved ones. Do a puzzle, go on a walk, or bake together with your friends and family. You can also find something serving to do together, like volunteering for a good cause or donating old clothes!        

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Structure: Accept my limitations

During the holiday season, unstructured time can be difficult to manage and stressful due to the lack of routines. We tend to either overplan or underplan. 

Overplanning stems from:

  • Denial of limits: We fill our schedules, ignoring overstimulation and burnout, leading to conflicts and missed moments.
  • FOMO: In an attempt to join others in holiday fun, we overcrowd our agenda, leaving us depleted by the new year.
  • Fear of disappointing others: We say yes to unrealistic expectations from family and friends, resulting in exhaustion and resentment.

Underplanning results from:

  • Fear of overexertion: Past burnout leads us to hoard time and energy, avoiding plans and interactions.
  • Procrastination: Distractions cause us to delay desired activities, making us miss meaningful opportunities.

Emotionalism: We react to immediate feelings instead of making concrete plans, resulting in dissatisfaction and stress for ourselves and others.

LORD, you alone are my portion and my cup; you make my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance. Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure,
Psalm 16:5-6,9 NIV

The Bible tells us that the limits God gives us are for our own good, helping us feel happy and secure. Here’s how we can embrace the structure God has for us:

  • If you’re an overplanner, it’s important to recognize both your own limits and those of your family. Let go of the fear of missing out by trusting that God will provide what you need to feel satisfied.
  • If you’re an underplanner, remember that God knows what we can handle and won’t give us more than we can bear. It’s okay to ask for help in creating routines and structure to avoid putting things off or getting overwhelmed.

No matter how you plan, it’s important to let go of any shame about your limitations. Recognizing these limits helps prevent exhaustion or isolation, allowing us to trust in God’s support even when we struggle.

And if anyone longs to be wise, ask God for wisdom and he will give it! He won’t see your lack of wisdom as an opportunity to scold you over your failures but he will overwhelm your failures with his generous grace.
James 1:5 TPT

Let go of the shame and fear of failing. Life isn’t meant to be done alone. Mistakes are inevitable—that’s why we need God and each other.

Start with God. Prioritize staying connected with God during the holidays to guide everything else.  

  • Focus on what matters most to God: relationships. Build your routine around being rooted in God, connecting with spiritual friends, and serving others.

Ask for help! Avoid the trap of doing it all alone. Ask help…

  • …from God and friends: Share your plans and ask for support to avoid overdoing or underdoing things.  
  • …for insight: Others may notice strengths or blind spots you don’t see.  
  • …for ideas: Learn tips from those around you to handle schedules better.  
  • …for accountability: Share your goals and ask friends or family to check in with you to stay on track.

Build a balanced structure. Design a rhythm with enough flexibility to relax and enough routine to avoid aimlessness.  

  • Plan small daily anchor points like meals or outings.  
  • Incorporate transition time into your schedule (ie. driving, cleaning up, getting ready times).
  • Use tools like timers or calendars to guide your time so it feels freeing, not overwhelming.
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Human nature inclines toward superficiality and fickleness when our spiritual lives are neglected. This “superficiality and fickleness” of human nature is what makes the reading of Scripture, the mental work of prayer, and the introspection of spirituality so difficult. As someone once told me, “I focus on obedience because it is easier.”

Obedience of this type turns God into a rule maker instead of a relationship, leading us to focus on behavior instead of our inner life. Our Christianity becomes a grind and results in burnout. Remember, the obedience taught in Scripture is an expression of love.

Loving God means keeping his commandments, and his commandments are not burdensome.

1 John 5:3 NLT

Introduction

When we see God as a rule maker instead of a relationship, everything about following Jesus becomes burdensome. We turn the life of faith that is following Jesus from spiritual to behavioral. Following Jesus becomes a shallow and powerless religious commitment to behavioral rules instead of a deeply spiritual walk with God in which we overcome our human limits. This dilemma is not unique; it is common, as described in the book of 2 Corinthians. The Corinthians struggled with living behaviorally. They lived the limited life of rule-following instead of the limitless life of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23 TPT).

He has enabled us to be ministers of his new covenant. This is a covenant not of written laws, but of the Spirit. The old written covenant ends in death; but under the new covenant, the Spirit gives life.

2 Corinthians 3:6 NLT

Jesus calls us back from the brink of behavioral burnout in Matthew 11:28-30 when he says, “Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace.” His focus is cultivating a relationship “with him,” learning to live a spiritual life through this connection rather than enduring the burdensome and ill-suited life of strict behavioral adherence (John 15:1-8 Voice). This approach enables us to “live freely and lightly” and embrace our authentic selves. We can then be transformed by God’s power instead of being hindered by the frustrations of navigating life through human effort alone.

From a biblical point of view, what we will call “behavioral religiosity” depersonalizes God into a set of commandments or rules. Spirituality personalizes God by allowing Jesus to teach us who he is, how to know him, and how to walk with him.

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The Holiday Bundle

When we walk with God, he can do more than we could ask or imagine through our holiday season. These spiritual tools will fill us with joy, gratitude, and peace no matter what comes our way.

The Distractible Person’s Guide to a Great Holiday Season 15

Alexis Colvin is a writer and editor for Deep Spirituality, and is passionate about using her creative skills to apply spiritual concepts to music and other forms of pop culture.

The Distractible Person’s Guide to a Great Holiday Season 15

Alexis Colvin is a writer and editor for Deep Spirituality, and is passionate about using her creative skills to apply spiritual concepts to music and other forms of pop culture.

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The Distractible Person’s Guide to a Great Holiday Season 17