How Do I Overcome My Fear of Vulnerability?

It’s hard to feel alone.

Sometimes, loneliness is easy enough to fix. You can send out a few messages, set up some times to hang out, or try out a sport or activity to meet new people. 

But then there’s a deeper, more permeating loneliness that isn’t so easy to heal. It’s that gnawing feeling that no one really knows you, and that ever-present fear that maybe if they did, you wouldn’t be loved or accepted. No matter how hard you try to cover it up, laugh it off, make a show of confidence, or retreat into silence, that unquenchable desire to be known and loved for who you are sticks close to you wherever you go and in whatever you do.

What a person desires is unfailing love; better to be poor than a liar.

Proverbs 19:22 NIV

This scripture teaches us that what we all want most – more than any achievement, any amount of popularity, or pleasure– is to feel unconditionally loved for who we are. That’s why no matter what’s going on in life, no matter our circumstances or the condition of our relationships, the second part of this scripture rings true: it is better to be poor than to lie about who we are and end up alone.

God is filled with unfailing love, but if we want to experience it, we have to open up those real parts of our hearts, and that can be easier said than done. How do we stay open about who we are when it leaves us vulnerable to being hurt, rejected, or misunderstood? 

Hebrews 4:15 tells us that Jesus understands this struggle because he experienced all the same testings and weaknesses we do. That means we can come to him unafraid of judgment or rejection because he gets it. 

In this week’s Mini Quiet Time, we’ll look at a story where Jesus had to choose to be vulnerable and what came as a result of his decision.