It’s Good to Be You: Why The Best Things in Life Start With Spiritual Self-Awareness

As water reflects the face, so one’s life reflects the heart.

Proverbs 27:19 NIV

Marriage lessons come in many forms, but this one was unique. While studying the Bible with a friend, I witnessed a life-changing moment of self-awareness. As we explored the Scriptures, a light bulb turned on in his head. He realized that his hatred was holding him back from making the decision to become a Christian. But it wasn’t just any hate—it was directed at his wife, whom he regularly wished would die.

For many, this might seem like a terrible moment, but what I learned that day is that the best things in life begin with self-awareness born out of honesty. Once he identified the hate and recognized the petty reasons behind it, he was able to let it go. This led to reconciliation with his wife, and through the power of forgiveness, they started their marriage over, lasting for many more years.

This transformation happened because of the power of Scripture. As the above verse in Proverbs 27 describes, the Bible allows us to connect our life actions with our heart condition. In other words, it helps us understand why we act the way we do. Once we are aware of our hearts, God can help us change them. Once we change our hearts, we can change our lives.

Instead of fearing self-awareness, we should embrace it because it is the beginning of the best things in life.

The power of self-awareness

Have you ever been surprised by emotions you didn’t know were there? Perhaps someone asked how you felt, and you struggled to explain it. Or maybe you’ve been in a situation where you felt nothing while everyone around you was deeply emotional. Or maybe you misread someone else’s emotions, causing pain and misunderstanding.

In all of these instances, the missing or underdeveloped skill is self-awareness. The good thing is, the more we walk with God, the more he develops self-awareness in us. When we walk with God, several things happen:

• We are known by him (1 Corinthians 8:3, Psalm 139:1-6). 
• We listen to his Word, which becomes a mirror for us, cutting through the facades and masks of life to reveal who we truly are (James 1:22-25, Hebrews 4:12-13). 
• The truth of God’s Word sets us free (John 8:31-32).
• This freedom from God’s Word allows us to be ourselves and to grow into God’s purpose for our lives (Romans 8:28 Voice). 

The self-awareness we develop in our walk with God also deepens our prayer life, empowering us to pour out our hearts to him (Psalm 62:8). Honest prayer opens the door for God to move powerfully in our lives (James 5:16). As God gives us that power through prayer, he helps us appreciate our God-given strengths and begin to change the weaknesses of character that hold us back from our destiny.  

Spiritual self-awareness is a life skill that not only deepens our relationship with God but also strengthens our relationships with others. Understanding the impact of our own joys and pain can give us deeper understanding and compassion for the burdens others carry in their hearts (1 Corinthians 10:13).

Regardless of the current level of our own self-awareness, none of us has reached the depth of Jesus, who was so spiritually perceptive that he knew people’s hearts (Matthew 9:4). That means it doesn’t matter how behind or ahead we feel we are in our own journeys to self-awareness, because we all have room to grow. The more we grow together to become like Jesus, the more our prayers and our relationships will grow in awareness, depth, and fulfillment.

Scriptures for reflection

1. Know what’s in your own heart.

Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can fully share its joy.

Proverbs 14:10 NLT

True self-awareness means being honest with ourselves about both pain and joy. Refusing to acknowledge emotions is refusing to let God heal us and bring us close to him (Matthew 13:15). When we share both joy and pain, we can experience a depth of intimacy and connection that is unreachable for the unaware.

2. Speak the truth from the heart.

The one whose walk is blameless, who does what is righteous, who speaks the truth from their heart…

Psalm 15:2 NIV

When we are spiritually self-aware, we do not live in deception—whether that be self-deception or deception toward others. Instead, we speak truthfully about what’s in our heart, leading to a life of integrity and intimate relationships.

3. Draw out the deep things within.

The real motives come from deep within a person-as from deep waters- but a discerning person is able to draw them up and expose them.

Proverbs 20:5 Voice

Spiritual self-awareness requires discernment—the ability to dig deeper to understand why we do the things we do. Our motives, fears, and desires often lie beneath the surface, but with the help of God and spiritual friends, we can bring them to light.

4. Build a strong foundation through self-awareness.

“So why do you keep calling me ‘Lord, Lord!’ when you don’t do what I say? [47] I will show you what it’s like when someone comes to me, listens to my teaching, and then follows it. [48] It is like a person building a house who digs deep and lays the foundation on solid rock. When the floodwaters rise and break against that house, it stands firm because it is well built.

Luke 6:46-48 NLT

Jesus tells us that following his teachings in the Scriptures involves “digging deep.” Through his Word, God opens our hearts, reveals truths to us about who he is and who we are, and lays the foundation for who we can become.  

Get started on your journey

Developing self-awareness is a continual journey; we never finish growing in our understanding of ourselves or God. The more we walk in the light of God’s truth, the more we experience the best things in life: growth, healing, and purpose.

To begin or deepen your spiritual self-awareness, you may find these ideas helpful:

• Use an emotions wheel. If understanding or acknowledging what’s in your heart is difficult for you, try using an emotions wheel. Identify which emotions you feel the most on a daily basis, then write down how you tend to react when those emotions arise, and in what areas of your life they arise most. For example, if anxiety is a common emotion for you, does it come up most at work, home, or somewhere else? Do you react by lashing out, disengaging, or taking control? Share what you find in prayer and conversation with God and friends.
• Ask why (more than once). When trying to understand your behaviors or heart, dig deeper by asking yourself why a couple times. (ie. I snapped at my spouse for not doing the dishes. Why? Because it made me angry and stressed. Why? Because then I’d feel like I have to do it. Why? Because I feel hurt for not being considered.) There’s no magical number for how many times to ask, but the more you ask the more you might understand. Prayer is a good place to do this so that you don’t let your emotions or thoughts get the best of you. 
• Dig deep when you read the Bible. When reading Scripture, ask yourself: what do I learn about myself? What do I learn about God and the life he wants for me? How can I follow this today to become who God is calling me to be?