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He is a father to the fatherless…He gives families to the lonely…Psalm 68:5-6 TLB
One of the biggest gifts parents give their children is the gift of security. Knowing you are accepted and having a place to come home to are incredibly powerful stabilizers that help a child grow up into a confident man or woman, sure of themselves and ready to face the world.
However, the idea of who our parents are supposed to be does not always match up with the reality of who they are, and that’s because they’re human. Those of us who are parents ourselves know this to be true – we fall short a lot. Perhaps your family experience was not a secure one; maybe you did not have both or even one of your parents in the home growing up, or you faced trauma, loss, or other hardships that make the topic of parenting a difficult one.
Not even the best parents were meant to fulfill our every need. This is where God comes in.
To believe in God is to believe that there is good and evil in the world, and that God is always moving on behalf of the good. One thing he is always trying to do is help us grow, and in this way he wants to be the parent we’ve always needed and desired.
God shapes, not squashes: why I can be secure
For You shaped me, inside and out. You knitted me together in my mother’s womb long before I took my first breath.  I will offer You my grateful heart, for I am Your unique creation, filled with wonder and awe. You have approached even the smallest details with excellence; Your works are wonderful; I carry this knowledge deep within my soul.Psalm 139:13-14 Voice
- God made us unique. Each of us is an original and he created even the smallest details about us with excellence.
- He’s the one who shaped our personalities, our talents, and destiny.
- If we really believe this, we shouldn’t feel insecure. But sometimes we still do. Why? Sin in our lives makes us feel insecure. Some of the sins of the insecure are envy (wanting what other people have), godlessness (trying to go about life on our own) and living for people’s praise because we aren’t getting the approval we need from God.
- God shapes us like a good parent, but sin squashes us. What sins in your life have been squashing the security that God wants to give you?
God attaches, not abandons: why I can be honest (happy)
O Eternal One, You have explored my heart and know exactly who I am;  You even know the small details like when I take a seat and when I stand up again. Even when I am far away, You know what I’m thinking.  You observe my wanderings and my sleeping, my waking and my dreaming, and You know everything I do in more detail than even I know….You have surrounded me on every side, behind me and before me, and You have placed Your hand gently on my shoulder.  It is the most amazing feeling to know how deeply You know me, inside and out; the realization of it is so great that I cannot comprehend it.Psalm 139:1-3, 5-6 Voice
- God knows everything about us. He understands us and attaches to us. He knows everything about our heart
- The reason we can have a hard time being honest is we are afraid God and people will abandon us if they knew everything about us.
- God wants to attach to us. Attachment is about closeness or intimacy, which is the answer to the feeling of being alone. This is what makes us most unhappy.
- Are you holding back in your relationships because you are afraid to be alone?
God redirects, not rejects: why I can change
God, I invite your searching gaze into my heart. Examine me through and through; find out everything that may be hidden within me. Put me to the test and sift through all my anxious cares.  See if there is any path of pain I’m walking on, and lead me back to your glorious, everlasting ways— the path that brings me back to you.Psalm 139:23-24 TPT
- To make personal changes, we have to learn to see correction or input not as rejection or failure, but rather as redirection – being directed to turn back to God.
- We get defeated, moody, and angry because we think we are getting rejected rather than seeing that God is trying to redirect us.
- What are some examples in your life of correction you’ve experienced or are experiencing? What’s been your attitude toward them? How could you change your perspective about them by believing God is redirecting you?