And have you forgotten the encouraging words God spoke to you as his children? He said, “My child, don’t make light of the LORD’s discipline, and don’t give up when he corrects you…

[10] For our earthly fathers disciplined us for a few years, doing the best they knew how. But God’s discipline is always good for us, so that we might share in his holiness. [11] No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening-it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way. [12] So take a new grip with your tired hands and strengthen your weak knees. [13] Mark out a straight path for your feet so that those who are weak and lame will not fall but become strong.

Hebrews 12:5,10-13 NLT

The temptation to give up is something everyone faces at some point. To grow in any area of our lives, we need to stay motivated so that we keep going even when things get hard. That is the true meaning of self-discipline: the ability to do things you know you should do even when you do not want to. This is not a skill that comes naturally to any of us. It takes training.

To “train” someone is to prepare them for something—a job, an activity, or a sport—by helping them learn skills. God trains us spiritually, shaping our character so that we can have a close friendship with him and live out our purpose. He sticks with us, gently nudging us toward a path to growth. 

Parenting is a great illustration of this type of training, and the way my dad trained me helps me understand the love behind God’s discipline. I got my driver’s license when I was in high school, and every time I left the house, my dad and I would agree on the time I needed to come home. 

I pushed these limits, staying out with my friends as long as possible. I convinced myself that if I mapped out my route perfectly, I’d be able to pull up to my house and walk through the door right when curfew hit. 

Unsurprisingly, I often came home late.

Whether I was late by three hours or three minutes, the consequences were the same. I always protested, and my dad always responded with this: 

“It’s not the minutes. It’s that you made a promise and didn’t keep it.”

I did not enjoy this training at the time, but I respect it today. Keeping a promise was hard for me, and my dad knew it. He also knew that this area of weakness would make it difficult for me to hold a job or keep relationships. I was led by my emotions, and I made decisions based on what felt good. My dad was preparing and teaching me to live a life of acting on my promises—even when it was hard—rather than living by my emotions and avoiding areas in which I was weak. 

In the same way, God disciplines us for our good. When certain areas of our hearts or lives are weak, it’s tempting to avoid them. The thought of changing them often feels overwhelming, and it can be hard to find the motivation to try. But that’s where the beauty of God’s training comes in; we don’t have to try to change alone. We have the best coach and parent on our side. When we embrace his training, we will develop the confidence and motivation to do things that are hard for us rather than avoiding them. 

Why is it hard to stay motivated?

When we’re unmotivated or undisciplined, we often tell ourselves that we’re simply lazy. We might get frustrated with our behavior and ashamed of our powerlessness, which leads us to sink even deeper into the quicksand of avoidance. But even when we want to quit on ourselves, God doesn’t quit on us—he’s always staying close to us and working to guide us along the best pathway for our lives:

I hear the Lord saying, “I will stay close to you, instructing and guiding you along the pathway for your life. I will advise you along the way and lead you forth with my eyes as your guide. So don’t make it difficult; don’t be stubborn when I take you where you’ve not been before. Don’t make me tug you and pull you along. Just come with me!”

Psalm 32:8-9 TPT

Psalm 32 tells us that we can get stubborn when God wants to lead us somewhere we haven’t been before. This stubbornness doesn’t mean we are bad people; it usually means that an emotion or sin is getting in the way of our growth, making us resistant to God’s training and keeping us stagnant. These areas of stubbornness are like roadblocks that keep us unmotivated and prevent us from growing and walking along the best pathway for our lives. 

Identifying our roadblocks is the first step toward overcoming them, so let’s look at three common reasons we get unmotivated or stuck. 

1. The roadblock of fear

For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.

2 Timothy 1:7 NLT

Fear, timidity, and insecurity stop us from taking action and developing self-discipline. Have you ever avoided a conversation because you were afraid of conflict, or procrastinated on a project because it felt overwhelming? Or maybe you can’t bring yourself to do something you want to do because you’re afraid you’ll fail. 

In my story earlier, one of the reasons I got home late was the fear of disappointing anyone, which led to one occasion where I accepted two dinner invitations on the same night. I didn’t have the spirit of “power, love, and self-discipline” the above scripture describes; I didn’t have the power to say no to a friend, I didn’t love my parents enough to respect their curfew, and I didn’t have the self-discipline to not listen to my emotions—all because I was afraid. 

God doesn’t want us to be enslaved to fear and timidity. Becoming aware of our fears is the first step toward surrendering them to God so that we can live a life of power, love, and self-discipline.

2. The roadblock of discouragement and unbelief

So Moses told the people of Israel what the LORD had said, but they refused to listen anymore. They had become too discouraged by the brutality of their slavery.

Exodus 6:9 NLT

God is always working in our lives to help us grow, but, like the Israelites in Exodus, our discouragement and unbelief can make us refuse to listen to his guidance. Maybe we’ve tried to develop a skill in the past and failed. Or maybe we have a character flaw that has been persistent for years, and we don’t believe we can change it. Or maybe we have a weakness or challenge in our lives that makes growth feel impossible. 

Once we admit our discouragement or unbelief, God can help us overcome it (Matthew 9:24).

3. The roadblock of pride

Pride makes us avoid our limitations and have an inflated sense of how well we can manage our own lives. 

When people do not accept divine guidance, they run wild. But whoever obeys the law is joyful.

Proverbs 29:18 NLT

In my earlier story, one of the reasons I came home too late was because I overestimated my ability to manage my time effectively. My father knew I needed correction and accountability, otherwise I would run wild like Proverbs 29 describes. But because I wouldn’t admit my weaknesses regarding self-control, emotionalism, and time management, I got angry. I saw his discipline as incredibly restrictive. 

A wise son listens to his father’s advice, but a proud son will not listen to correction.

Proverbs 13:1 ERV

In the same way, we often resist God’s training out of pride. We don’t want to admit that we have weaknesses and need help. We don’t want to acknowledge that we do “run wild” and need God’s guidance. So we resist God by ignoring his advice, going our own way, and getting mad when God or anyone else tries to correct us. But we can only get so far off our own strength, and will eventually get burned out and quit. 

Once we admit our areas of weakness and accept help from God and others, our path is freed from the roadblock of pride.

Before we continue, let’s reflect on these questions:

God can train and help us overcome any roadblock to change, as long as we are willing to admit that we have them. Now let’s look at what actions we can take to embrace God’s training and discipline.

How can we embrace God’s training to stay motivated?

1. Admit our weaknesses to unlock God’s power.

The reward of humility [that is, having a realistic view of one’s importance] and the [reverent, worshipful] fear of the LORD is riches, honor, and life.

Proverbs 22:4 AMP

Humility is having a realistic view of one’s importance. This means we don’t have an inflated (or deflated) view of our own abilities, but recognize the areas in which we are limited and weak. Whether it’s time management, emotional regulation, the ability to handle pressure, planning, organizing, or any other skill, we all have areas in which we are weak and need help. Recognizing these areas doesn’t need to be a negative experience. In fact, the more we avoid them, the more we procrastinate and remain unmotivated to grow. 

Being humble and honest about our weaknesses helps us realize that we need God’s help to change. We are only human, and we are limited (Matthew 26:41). There will be areas in our lives that are simply beyond our human ability to change. 

But God’s power is unlimited. It’s always available to us; all we need to do is be humble enough to ask for help (2 Corinthians 12:8-10). 

2. Avoid comparisons so we can enjoy God’s path.

When we’re facing the truth about our weaknesses, it’s important that we avoid the temptation to compare ourselves with our peers. 

Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else. [5] For we are each responsible for our own conduct.

Galatians 6:4-5 NLT

Comparisons steal our satisfaction and make us feel ashamed by telling us we’re behind our peers. Sometimes they make us feel helpless and tell us there is no point in trying (John 5:3-5). Other times, they make us tear others down and find all the ways we’re actually ahead of them (Luke 18:9-12). There are times that comparing ourselves to others does motivate us forward, but this is an unhealthy drive that comes from jealousy and rivalry, and only leads to more disorder (James 3:15-16).

All of these forms of comparison lead us away from the good path that God has for us. That’s why God tells us to pay careful attention to our own work. God has a unique path and destiny he wants us to travel. We’ll keep our motivation strong when we stay focused on God’s good plans for us rather than comparing ourselves to other people. 

3. Read the Bible with a learner’s heart.

These are the proverbs of Solomon, David’s son, king of Israel. [2] Their purpose is to teach people wisdom and discipline, to help them understand the insights of the wise. [3] Their purpose is to teach people to live disciplined and successful lives, to help them do what is right, just, and fair.

Proverbs 1:1-3 NLT

When we stop being so preoccupied with how we compare to others, we become more motivated and willing to learn. God gave us wisdom in the Bible to teach us to live disciplined and successful lives. When we open God’s Word with a learner’s heart, he will give us the motivation and discipline we need. We’ll also be able to see the truths in it without getting discouraged; even when the Bible corrects us, we’ll see it as an opportunity to learn rather than a failure.

The spiritually hungry are always ready to learn more, for their hearts are eager to discover new truths.

Proverbs 18:15 TPT

God gave us his Word to equip us with spiritual strength for every good work (2 Timothy 3:16-17). He knows we will face battles that are too difficult for our human flesh. When we believe and follow his Word in our daily lives, it will give us the supernatural strength we need to fight these battles and win. All we need to do is be humble enough to accept God’s teachings as truth rather than following our own emotions and desires. 

4. Stay focused on one area at a time and trust God with the rest.

Keep your eyes on the path, and look straight ahead. [26] Make sure you are going the right way, and nothing will make you fall. [27] Don’t go to the right or to the left, and you will stay away from evil.

Proverbs 4:25-27 ERV 

One of the biggest areas I’ve noticed that stops people from embracing God’s discipline is distraction. When we begin to notice our areas of weakness, we often want to take them all on at once. Or maybe we jump from one area to another, and never actually grow in any of them. The Bible tells us to stay focused — keep our eyes on the path, look straight ahead, and don’t get distracted by what might be to the right or left. 

When trying to change something as fundamental to our character as motivation and discipline, we have to see it as a building process. Focusing on one area at a time allows us to break down such a large, daunting task into smaller, more manageable steps. As God trains us to master one area of our lives, he opens the door to the next, and our path begins to take shape. Rather than taking on everything at once, we must add each area of growth onto each other, which eventually builds a beautiful life:

Because you have these blessings, do all you can to add to your life these things: to your faith add goodness; to your goodness add knowledge; [6] to your knowledge add self-control; to your self-control add patience; to your patience add devotion to God; [7] to your devotion add kindness toward your brothers and sisters in Christ, and to this kindness add love. [8] If all these things are in you and growing, you will never fail to be useful to God. You will produce the kind of fruit that should come from your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

2 Peter 1:5-8 ERV

5. Seek out spiritual friends who will help us stay motivated.

As we continue to add each area of growth onto each other, we don’t always know where to start. Luckily, the life God is training us for is not a solo sport. Spiritual friends are friends who keep each other motivated to continue forward on the paths God has laid out for each of us. 

Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. [25] And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.

Hebrews 10:24-25 NLT

Spiritual friendships motivate us when we are tempted to quit. As we are trying to develop discipline and motivation, we need to seek out spiritual friends who will keep us motivated and who will be encouraged in their growth process too. This means inviting people into our lives and asking them to help us, and it also means looking out for other people to give them motivation too. 

Questions for reflection

• In what areas of your life do you need motivation and discipline?
• How do you think God has been trying to guide, instruct, and train you in these areas?
• What action steps can you take towards embracing God’s training this week?

Next steps

In the article “We’re all a little stuck. But there’s a way out,” head to the “Weekly Experiment” section. Complete with a friend the exercise provided to get unstuck and get motivated. In this exercise you will:

1. Identify negative thought patterns that keep you stuck.
2. Identify your strengths.
3. Make a “Shifting Mindset” chart.
4. Start small, but start now.
5. Come up with a game plan for when obstacles arise.
6. Celebrate small wins together.