Table of Contents
Communication can either build a connection or break it down. Wherever our communication skills might be today, God can teach us to speak confidently and listen calmly. This is essential to living out our purpose because every aspect of our human lives requires communication.
Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. [16] From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.
Ephesians 4:15-16 NIV
God designed us to grow together. The way we speak and the way we listen is important to our own growth and the growth of people around us.
So what kind of communicator are you today? Do you blurt things out in emotion? Are you afraid to pick up the phone and make a call? Can you calmly and clearly express your views while listening to someone else?
Being aware of the way we communicate is the first step to becoming powerful communicators!
This quiz is based on our article, “Speak Confidently and Listen Calmly: Why the Best Communicators Don’t Do All the Talking” from The Best Life series. It’s a fun, creative way to reflect on our communication skills and discover how God can help us grow from wherever we are today.
Not every question or result may feel like an exact fit—and that’s okay! The goal is to reflect and learn about ourselves so that we can develop strong spiritual communication skills with God and others.
Take the quiz
You got “The Reactor”
Honesty and expressiveness are your strengths, but your communication weakness is that emotions often take over your conversations. Your stress, anger, fear, or even joy can make it hard to listen to others. Having strong emotions is good, but God wants us to use them to connect with others, not shut them down.
A “Reactor” in the Bible to learn from: Peter.
- Read about Peter in the Gospels and Acts to learn how he began his relationship with Jesus reacting emotionally and impulsively, but later learned to be vulnerable and present instead.
- Key verse: Matthew 16:22-23 NIV Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. “Never, Lord!” he said. “This shall never happen to you!” [23] Jesus turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.”
- How to grow in your communication: Read Speak Confidently and Listen Calmly: Why the Best Communicators Don’t Do All the Talking to learn how to listen first and speak second. The Bible encourages us to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger. It shows us that by first listening to God’s Word and letting it reveal our hearts, we can respond thoughtfully, not driven by emotions or opinions.
You Got “The Responder”
Your strengths in communication are your self-awareness and humility. You may feel strong emotions, but you don’t let them take over. You take the time to listen calmly to others and respond with curiosity and compassion. This requires constant work — turning to God with your emotions, and trusting he’ll help you so you can be present with others.
Your challenge is to teach others to be “responders” too! Become an advocate for friends of yours who may be more passive in their communication style.
A “Responder” in the Bible to learn from: Jesus
- Jesus was always spending time with God so he could communicate the Good News to those around him. He expressed what he felt while making room for others. You can learn from him how to create a culture around you of effective and spiritual communicators.
- Key verse: Luke 9:47 Voice Jesus saw what was going on-not just the argument, but the deeper heart issues-so He found a child and had the child stand beside Him.
- How to grow in your communication: Read Speak Confidently and Listen Calmly: Why the Best Communicators Don’t Do All the Talking to learn how to respond to the heart, not the behavior. Jesus didn’t give into petty arguments. He understood the deeper heart issues at play, and so responded to those, rather than reacting to the emotion or argument that covered them. This self-control took a level of wisdom and spirituality that can only come from a relationship with God.
You got “The Retreater”
Your strengths in your communication include your patience, listening skills, and consideration—you can let things go without turning them into a fight.
However, you also do everything you can to avoid uncomfortable emotions. This leads to unresolved conflicts, unmet needs, and disconnected relationships. You might think you’re avoiding hurting others by not speaking up, but honesty leads to growth and closeness.
God chose you to be in the lives of those around you so both you and they can grow. Embracing your role in the lives of others can empower you to speak up when you need to and listen even when emotions are strong.
A “Retreater” in the Bible to learn from: Esther
- Esther was chosen to be queen, but she was terrified. When she was called to stand up for her people, her first choice was to step back. Left to herself, she would’ve stayed quiet and passive. But thanks to the relationships around her, she was empowered to speak up, leading to thousands of lives saved.
- Key verse: Esther 4:12-14 NIV When Esther’s words were reported to Mordecai, [13] he sent back this answer: “Do not think that because you are in the king’s house you alone of all the Jews will escape. [14] For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father’s family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?”
- How to grow in your communication: Read Speak Confidently and Listen Calmly: Why the Best Communicators Don’t Do All the Talking to learn how to celebrate honesty, even when it hurts. Light is where God is. Though conversations about sin (our own or other people’s) can be painful, they bring us closer to God and others. We can’t connect if something remains hidden. Embracing the truth, even when it hurts, helps us grow.
You got “The Resister”
Your strength in communication is your keen observation and emotional awareness. However, your challenge is that you make things about you. Because you resist communicating with love and seeing your own role in conflicts, you’re overly focused on how others’ actions make you feel.
God gives us grace and calls us to extend it to others. He doesn’t want our hearts weighed down by resentment and bitterness (Hebrews 12:15), which hinder meaningful relationships and shared purpose.
You can grow in communication by shifting the focus off yourself—this will free you from resentment and help you express truth with love.
A “Resister” in the Bible to learn from: Jonah
- Jonah was a prophet chosen by God, but his self-focus made him resistant to listening to God. He ran away from what God chose him to do and got angry when things didn’t go the way he wanted. God called him to think bigger than himself and see past people’s mistakes to a greater purpose.
- Key verse: Jonah 4:9-11 NIV But God said to Jonah, “Is it right for you to be angry about the plant?” “It is,” he said. “And I’m so angry I wish I were dead.” [10] But the LORD said, “You have been concerned about this plant, though you did not tend it or make it grow. It sprang up overnight and died overnight. [11] And should I not have concern for the great city of Nineveh, in which there are more than a hundred and twenty thousand people who cannot tell their right hand from their left—and also many animals?”
- How to grow in your communication: Read Speak Confidently and Listen Calmly: Why the Best Communicators Don’t Do All the Talking to learn how to check your “self” at the door. Experiencing God’s love and remembering it empowers us to offer others the same forgiveness, kindness, and patience that Jesus shows us. We are the most confident when we know we’re loving how God wants us to.
Explore more:
Recommended for you
We break down exactly how to teach spiritual life skills in a way that’s simple, practical, and life-changing.
