Jesus as the Ultimate Relationship Builder

Listen to this devotional:

If we want to build loving relationships that are spiritually powerful, we need to step into the classroom of the ultimate relationship builder: Jesus.

He never sinned, nor ever deceived anyone. He did not retaliate when he was insulted, nor threaten revenge when he suffered. He left his case in the hands of God, who always judges fairly.

1 Peter 2:22-23 NLT

The power of relationship flows from the gospel because Jesus was the greatest relationship builder ever to live. The power behind his relationship building was the absence of sin in his life. 

Let’s pause for a moment before we move on: the word “sin” may bring up a range of emotions and reactions from us. Many of us who have been around religion might have negative connotations or feelings that arise. We may associate it with failure, shame, or even reason for rejection. 

But if we look at the Bible’s discussion of sin through the lens of relationship, we see a much different story:

• Romans 3 says that all of us have sin. We all have flaws and ways we fall short, so there is not one person who is superior to another.
• Isaiah 59 says that sin is what separates us from God. Sin distances us from the relationships we are meant to have.
• Genesis 6 tells us that sin breaks God’s heart. This very personal and emotional description helps us see that God does not see our sin as a moral failure; he sees it as a heartbreaking cause of distance in the relationship he longs to have with us.

Free from the distancing effects of sins like prejudice, self-righteousness, judgmentalism, bitterness, envy, and jealousy, Jesus looked past social and emotional barriers to see the true value and deep spiritual needs of every soul. He consistently broke through cultural, ethnic, and religious divisions that separated him from others. 

The more we look to Jesus, the more we can identify and close the distances and roadblocks in our own friendships. We can build an inspiring friendship with God, and we can become a friend who changes other people’s lives in incredible ways. 

Let’s look at three examples of the way Jesus built relationships. 

Jesus and the Samaritan woman

Read: John 4:1-42

Ask: As you read, ask yourself what barriers Jesus overcame to connect with the Samaritan woman.

Reflect: What barriers might I need to overcome to build closer relationships with those around me?

Scripture highlight:

Jesus knew the Pharisees had heard that he was baptizing and making more disciples than John [2] (though Jesus himself didn’t baptize them-his disciples did). [3] So he left Judea and returned to Galilee. [4] He had to go through Samaria on the way. [5] Eventually he came to the Samaritan village of Sychar, near the field that Jacob gave to his son Joseph. [6] Jacob’s well was there; and Jesus, tired from the long walk, sat wearily beside the well about noontime. [7] Soon a Samaritan woman came to draw water, and Jesus said to her, “Please give me a drink.” [8] He was alone at the time because his disciples had gone into the village to buy some food. [9] The woman was surprised, for Jews refuse to have anything to do with Samaritans. She said to Jesus, “You are a Jew, and I am a Samaritan woman. Why are you asking me for a drink?”

John 4:1-9 NLT

Jesus shattered multiple cultural barriers in one encounter: First, he spoke to a Samaritan, despite the deep ethnic divide that existed. As the woman herself pointed out, “You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?” She knew that Jews typically refused to associate with Samaritans. 

Second, Jesus broke gender norms by speaking openly with a woman, so much so that his own disciples “were surprised to find him talking with a woman” (John 4:27 NIV). 

Yet Jesus looked past these social boundaries of ethnicity and gender, seeing instead a soul in need of living water:

Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.” [11] “Sir,” the woman said, “you have nothing to draw with and the well is deep. Where can you get this living water? [12] Are you greater than our father Jacob, who gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did also his sons and his livestock?” [13] Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, [14] but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”

John 4:10-14 NIV

His willingness to cross these barriers not only transformed her life but, through her story, also led her entire town to believe in Jesus (John 4:39-42).

Jesus and the woman with a sinful reputation  

Read: Luke 7:36-50

Ask: What did the Pharisee see in this woman? How did he treat her? What did Jesus see in her? How did he treat her?

Reflect: In what relationships might I need to change from a heart of judgment and criticism to one of respect and gratitude?

Scripture highlight: 

Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little.”

Luke 7:47 NIV

While the Pharisees judged and pushed this woman away, treating her as if she were beyond God’s reach, Jesus responded to her with respect and gratitude. In contrast to their exclusionary attitude, Jesus offered her hope and forgiveness, showing that no one is beyond the reach of God’s love.

Jesus and Peter

Read: Luke 5:1-11 

Ask: How did Peter see himself? How did this affect his relationship with Jesus?

Reflect: Do I define myself by my limitations or my potential? Do I define others by their limitations or their potential?

Scripture Highlight:

When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at Jesus’ knees and said, “Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!”

Luke 5:8 NIV

When Peter encountered Jesus, he was overwhelmed by his own unworthiness, saying, “Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!” But where Peter saw only his limitations, Jesus saw potential. Instead of agreeing with Peter’s self-assessment, Jesus gave him a transformative purpose: 

…Then Jesus said to Simon, “Don’t be afraid; from now on you will fish for people.”

Luke 5:10b NIV

Jesus turned Peter’s feeling of unworthiness into a calling that would change his life forever.

Jesus and Pontius Pilate

Read: John 19:1-16

Ask: How did Jesus respond to Pilate claiming power over him? Was he more focused on people or God, and how did that focus affect his relationships?

Reflect: Do I prioritize attention, position, and control or relationships? Why?

Highlight:

“Do you refuse to speak to me?” Pilate said. “Don’t you realize I have power either to free you or to crucify you?” [11] Jesus answered, “You would have no power over me if it were not given to you from above. Therefore the one who handed me over to you is guilty of a greater sin.”

John 19:10-11 NIV

Power is what we often envy the most but admit to the least. One of the biggest rivals to our relationship with God is our human desire for attention, status, position, influence, and ultimately control (Matthew 6:24 AMP).

Pilate, the Roman Governor of Judea said to Jesus in John 19:10, “Don’t you realize that I have the power to release you or crucify you?” Instead of becoming jealous of this power or being filled with bitter envy that God had not given it to him, Jesus said, “You would have no power over me at all unless it were given to you from above.” 

Pilate would then hand Jesus over to be crucified, but rather than condemn Pilate, Jesus included him with everyone else when he said:

Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing.” 

Luke 23:34a NLT

Even in his death, Jesus prioritized his relationship with Pilate and all mankind over his own life. 

This is the ultimate example of being a relationship builder.